my favs

[bbgapril]

10 Signs You Might Be Trailor Trash
2012
01.17

Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

Somebody hollers “Hoe Down” and your girlfriend hits the floor.

If a tornado hits your home and causes $10,000 dollars worth of improvement.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey y’all watch this.”

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia boss.

You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

[bbgapril]

Insults
Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously has never heard any good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.

Insult Rating Votes
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. 222
I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it. 70
It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer. 54
Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick. 73
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth? 90
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ. 73
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 400
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. 131
It's kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence.

[bbgapril]

Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down 20
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head 45
Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. 39
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. 72
I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying. 8
You are proof that God has a sense of humor. 68
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! 28
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. 28
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? 31
Shock me, say something intelligent. 21
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 20
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma. 52
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? 22
Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby? 6

[bbgapril]

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. 19
I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission! 22
You look like a before picture. 16
If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse! 7
You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. 24
You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate". 32
I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? 31
Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin! 13
Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. 14
Don't you need a license to be that ugly? 24
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live. 6
Nice tan, orange is my favorite color. 9
What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open? 6
Everyone who ever loved you was wrong. 9
Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around? 13
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. 30
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! 10
You are so stupid, you'd trip over a cordless phone.

[bbgapril]

You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! 14
You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity? 15
You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away! 11
If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. 12
Your parents hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster 9
Your ambition outweighs your relevant skills. 5
It’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the 'impression' that you’re stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. 6
I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative. 13
Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand. 14
So you've changed your mind, does this one work any better? 7
You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. 7
You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. 15
Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. 40
If a crackhead saw you, he'd think he needs to go on a diet. 8
Come again when you can't stay quite so long.

[bbgapril]

You act like your arrogance is a virtue. 9
100,000 sperm, you were the fastest? 15
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! 13
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole! 14
We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough. 19
If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable. 4
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? 8
If you had another brain, it would be lonely. 8
Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident? 6
Your dad's condom is a bigger than your personality. 4
You're so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice. 8
You are so old, you fart dust. 14
Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul. 10
You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened.

[bbgapril]

You're as useless as a screen door on a submarine. 11
You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 10
The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. 10
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? 10
It’s too bad stupidity isn’t painful. 5
Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing. 12
You must think you're strong, but you only smell strong. 4
If your brain exploded, it wouldn't even mess up your hair. 4
Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down. 7
If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. 10
You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat. 6
If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose. 5
You're the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar. 13
I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. 12
If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty. 6
Are your parents siblings? 21
You'll make a great first wife some day. 11
Yeah you're pretty, pretty stupid 5
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. 9
Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap. 18
Your mom must have a really loud bark! 8
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot. 4
You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals. 4
For those who never forget a face, you are an exception. 9
Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid! 11
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo. 6
You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. 19
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

[bbgapril]

You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. 19
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside. 24
Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. 6
People like you are the reason I work out. 11
I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. 9
When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet. 14
Please tell me you don't home-school your kids. 21
You're stupid because you're blonde.

[bbgapril]

Pick Up Lines that don't work
Kissing is a language of love, so how about a conversation?
I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
You are the SDK in my life. I won’t compile without you.
You know, it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force.
I've got skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
Let's commit the perfect crime: I'll steal you're heart, and you'll steal mine.
I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
Are you religious? 'Cause you're the answer to all my prayers.
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.

[bbgapril]

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
Your eyes are like a sunset, They're Beautiful, inspiring, and hard to turn away from.
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
If you were a triangle you'd be acute one.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
Is your dad an art thief? Because you're a masterpiece.
Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u.