The Great Bride Thread

[oregonlt3]

The bride is my cousin, the bridesmaid without panties is her maid of honor. I was not there (damn) but my mother comes back with the photo album and is showing it to the family and this picture jumps out at me. No one else seems to notice. (I guess I'm the only perv in the family)

[oregonlt3]

There were a few other "bride dressing before the wedding" pictures but NN. I will see if I can get my hands on them for you.

[osreb]

dressed and undressed

[osreb]

Subject: Why I Fired My Secretary


Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and
say,
'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it
turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... they will
remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat
despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss,

and by the way Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You
know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what
do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose
instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a
beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do We?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?'
She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, 'Boss, if
you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ... followed by my wife, my kids, and
dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch...

Naked.

[thebiginch]

I'd love to see more real pics of brides on their wedding nights.

[osreb]

1. Each player should furnish his own equipment for play - normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on the course should be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, The object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check the shaft stiffness before play.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so, may result in being denied permission to play the course again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course.
The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to the well formed bunkers.


8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played,
Or Are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played.
Upset course owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.

10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled,
Particularly, when a new course is being played for the first time.
Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they considered to be a private course.

11. Players should not assume that a course is in shape for play at all times.
Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair.
Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation.
More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.

12. The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with, and approach to the hole.

13. Players are advised to obtain the course owners permission before attempting to play the back nine.

14. Slow play is encouraged. However players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace,
At least temporarily at the course owners request.

15. It is considered outstanding performance,
Time permitting, To play the same hole several times in one match.

[osreb]

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell- a Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

[DILLIGAF3]

nice work osreb! where do you find them all?

[butterman]

more happy days

[joe35]

nice................