my favs

[bbgapril]

"De plane, de plane!" — Tattoo, Fantasy Island

"Nanu-nanu." — Mork, Mork & Mindy

"Tenk you veddy much." — Latka, Taxi

"Let's be careful out there." — Esterhaus, Hill Street Blues

"You look mahvelous." — Fernando, SNL

"Well, isn't that special?" — The Church Lady, SNL

"Make it so." — Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation

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"Resistance is futile." — The Borg, Star Trek: The Next Generation

"Cut it out." — Joey, Full House

"Eat my shorts." — Bart, The Simpsons

"Did I do that?" — Urkel, Family Matters

"No soup for you!" — The Soup Nazi, Seinfeld

"I'm listening." — Frasier, Frasier

"It's a good thing." — Martha Stewart, Martha Stewart Living

"Holy crap!" — Frank, Everybody Loves Raymond

"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" — Stan and Kyle, South Park

"Bam!" — Emeril Lagasse, Emeril Live

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"Is that your final answer?" — Regis Philbin, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

"I'm Rick James, b*tch!" — "Rick James," Chappelle's Show

"Will you accept this rose?" — The Bachelor/The Bachelorette

"Dude." — Hurley, Lost

"You're fired!" — Donald Trump, The Apprentice

"Make it work." — Tim Gunn, Project Runway

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"Everybody lies." — House, House

"Who's your daddy?" — Keith, Veronica Mars

"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." — Friday Night Lights

"Bazinga!" — Sheldon, The Big Bang Theory

"We've got a situation." — Mike "the Situation" Sorrentino, Jersey Shore

[p51b]

some of my favs

[bbgapril]

thanks for sharing, great pics

things to say to someone you might not like

"I'm going to nail your testacles to the wall until they lose blood and turn black and dry up then they will fall off and I will cram them down your throat with a screwdriver and make you swallow them."

"I'm going to kick you in the balls so hard that when you go pee instead of urine blood will come out and you will slowly lose all your blood and you will get lightheaded and you won't be able to stop and it will burn very badly and then you will kill yourself to get out of the misery."

"I'm gonna tie you to a chair with barbwire and cut off your knuckles, then your nipples, then your lips and then I'll scalp you with a steak knife and pry your eyeballs out and shove them in your mouth."

Or you can do it my way, stick your thumb in their eye and say"I skull fuck on the first date."

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Insult Jokes
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it.

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

I don’t consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

I don’t think you are a fool. But then what’s MY opinion against thousands of others?

I hear the only place you’re ever invited is outside.

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I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.

I know you are nobody’s fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can’t count that high.

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I’d like to leave you with one thought…but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it!

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I’d love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

I’ll never forget the first time we met – although I’ll keep trying.

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

If I ever need a brain transplant, I’d choose yours because I’d want a brain that had never been used.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder; it would be genocide!

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If what you don’t know can’t hurt you, she’s invulnerable.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn’t fill an M&M.

Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent.

Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control!

Pardon me, but you’ve obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Some day you will find yourself – and wish you hadn’t.

There is no vaccine against stupidity.