my favs

[bbgapril]

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?" He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They ended up spending the night together. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"

[bbgapril]

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, .................. "in-laws."

[bbgapril]

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked his Father what this was and the father (never having seen an elevator) replied, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, an oversized older lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and an extremely attractive 24 year old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young blonde, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

[bbgapril]

This morning is Sunday

[bbgapril]

I awoke with the nudging of a booted toe. Looking up the attached nylon leg she smiled at me in a mischievous and wicked manner

[bbgapril]

" I'll be back from church about 1. You have work to do, now and when I get home" she said.
Ah yes, my penance for transgressions over the weekend.
She likes this game way too much and it may be time to take control back.

[bbgapril]

Friday, we went out. She was wearing jeans that could stop traffic and we were dancing. She was rubbing against me in all the right places when she spotted some people from work and went over to speak with them.
I was getting more and more turned on just be being close to her and hearing her laugh, that I suggested we leave early.

[bbgapril]

When we got home I was all over her, nibbling and rubbing, but she said I would have to wait. She had some work to do first. I soon got tired of waiting and went into my man cave, turning on the computer, and taking matters in hand so to speak, began exploring the internet.

[bbgapril]

I had no idea I was being watched, by her

[bbgapril]

She let me know, after I was done, that my impatience would cost me. first a celibate Saturday where I had to do the list she would make up of chores around the house, then maybe a sinful Sunday if i was a good boy. I went along with it, if for no other reason to see what was going to happen Sunday.