Divorce Court - Page 31

bigi442000 · #**301** 02-19-2009, 12:13 AM

The ancient Greeks told of Diogenes, who would carry a lamp in the daytime. When asked why, he would say that he was looking for an honest man. After reviewing the evidence in this matter, I can't escape the image of our plaintiff, Mr Pink, standing in the sun of Athens in 404 B.C., looking forlorn in his toga and sandals, perhaps a cigar drooping from the corner of his mouth, saying: "While you're at it, Mac, why don't you see if you can dig up an honest dame?"

sleazy70 · #**302** 02-19-2009, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigi442000

In an eerie replay of the other cast members of Oliver Stone's much awaited film "I, Stooge," another '"stooge" is asking for a divorce. Cast in the coveted role of Joe, Mr Murtha tells the court he can't be seen with his wife anymore after counting the number of men she has been with during the marriage. The fact that Mr Murtha induced his wife to sleep around seems lost on him. I have only two points to make. First, one can only hope that the future Moe's marriage is rock solid. The second is that upon reviewing the evidence, it is clear that Mrs Murtha should have no trouble attracting a new mate whatsoever. Indeed, it seems that she has already obtained the phone numbers of every bailiff in the courthouse.

just a thought

whatever happened to the plain old marriage relationship and being loyal and whatever......
all we read is sex out of marriage, adultery, multiple, swinging, bigamy, exhibition, black cocks, n more. dont women want love, care, and a little money anymore ??!!!

bigi442000 · #**303** 02-22-2009, 04:39 PM

Mr Feldman is of course a world famous actor. Starting with a small role in the worst spaghetti western ever made ("Heads, You Die. Tails, I'll Kill You"), Mr Feldman spent a few weeks in Israel one summer making what came to be the progenitor of the hundreds of "chopped liver westerns" made during the 80s and 90s ("A Fistful Of Gelt"). Returning to Israel for two more iconic westerns ("For A Few Tsores More" and "The Goy, The Boy and the Shikseh"), Mr Feldman next went to Levitown, New York, where he resided with his common law wife Xondra Kluck while making world renowned movies such as "One Hung Low," "Low Druchus Drifter" and "Pale Uzi." He then relocated to Los Angeles to to star as the bazooka toting Detective Kalyeh in the acclaimed "Filthy Murray" films ("Ask yourself, do I feel lucky. Well do ya, putz?"). Lately, he has been directing Oscar winning art films ("Million Shekel Bubee"). Having found a young trophy wife, he soon dropped Ms. Kluck. Unfortunately, he forgot that LA is where we invented palimony!

bigi442000 · #**304** 02-23-2009, 09:30 PM

Oh Great! Another pair of immigrants wants a divorce. Let me guess. They don't like it here in Jersey, right? They probably want to move back to Mumbai. When the hell did they change the name from Bombay anyway? I mean, Mumbai sounds like a childhood disease. And while I'm at it, why did they change Peking to Beijing? That sounds like an aardvark sneezing, doesn't it? What is it with these people anyway? Can't they get the names of their cities straight?....Huh?....You say they speak English?....They were born in Hackensack?....Oh....My bad....Actually, come to think of it, if you ever saw a cat throwing up a hairball you know where the name Hackensack comes from!

crabbing · #**305** 03-10-2009, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redbacks

I don't know why we don't upload the zip files to rapidshare instead of getting this annoying daily download limit. WTF......

what is this download limit you are speaking of? Rapidshare sucks ass,

sleazy70 · #**306** 03-13-2009, 06:24 AM

./.
whats with the updates

when r they cumming....

bigi442000 · #**307** 03-13-2009, 10:26 PM

So if I understand your testimony, it seems that you introduced your wife to the joys of lesbianism, and now she finds that she prefers women to men 100% of the time. That leaves you in a rather precarious position, doesn't it?

bigi442000 · #**308** 03-13-2009, 10:49 PM

In one of my more unusual cases in recent memory, Mr Byrnes came home one day and surprised his wife with his new beard, which he had had surgically implanted. Oddly, he chose to transplant his pubic hair (see photos). After valiant attempts at continuing the marriage, Mrs Byrnes finally admits that the thought of going near her husband's face gives her the dry heaves. In her words, "I know where that beard has been!"

bigi442000 · #**309** 03-13-2009, 11:03 PM

Counsel do you really expect me to believe that these two have engaged in swinging to the point where they have become so worn out that there is no affection anymore? These two? I mean, c'mon! Look at 'em! These two people? Swinging? You got photos? OK. Hand 'em over....Hmmmm............Hmmmm........Oh my!..........
Can the clerk please get me an Alka Seltzer?

tpblanz · #**310** 03-14-2009, 12:38 PM

Great thread. The stories are hilarious and the pics have meant my right arm is in a sling and no longer works!!!

Glad you continued using ZIP files as rapidshare is awful.

Keep up the good work, I�ve decided to kill my left arm as well!!

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