I love you, funny face!

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1 "Uh...yeah...Honey, you should have let me know your contractor was pouring cement where I do my sunbathing..."
2. Toto was getting tired, but he couldn't stop. If the relentless crazy lady from next door caught him, he would be her lunch.
3. Johnny liked to surprise his mother...in moments when she thought she was all alone ...by lighting M-80 firecrackers...
4. Johnny got older but never really "grew up"... as his wife would testify.
5. Donna's Bach Concertos left something to be desired...but she played a rousing version of "Great Balls Of Fire"
6. No caption needed. Just a great pic.
7. "Hello, ACME male escort service? I just wanted to say that the escort you sent over has a nice dick, but he resembles my Aunt Lucille!"
8. Old Billy Bob growed up in a house wit only one DVD. He's seen "Deliverance" 186 times...he don't know no other way.
9. Coke? Candy? Chips? Or....Helen. Only you can decide how to spend those quarters.
10. Make no bones about it. Pics like this are a bonus.

[wildfire54]

More happenings.

1.While the station was usually low-rated. Everyone looked forward to the winter weather reports.

2."Hey,Jerri is my best friend.I don't mind taking on her duties as a housewife while she is in the hospital."

3.When Mark woke up on Christmas morning he knew right away there was such a thing as Santa Claus.

4."Oh, the orgy was great,Cindy. But I just think I overdid it a bit."

[msjac123]

........

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. After the popularity of "Dancing With The Stars," the network decided to air a spinoff called "Dancing With The Drunk Chicks."
2. John comes home unexpectedly a lot...and it seems every time he does, Mary is up to something interesting.
3. It didn't matter to Ralph that Becky wasn't really into it...all that mattered to Ralph was warmth, moisture and friction.
4. They say bad things come in threes...and three rhymes with pee...don't you agree?
5. What makes you want to kiss her more, the stinky cigar or the mask?
6. "Like I said, Steve...two days...and my 'visit from my little friend' will be over...then I'll let you screw me again."
7. All the really great cliff divers had to start somewhere...
8. Yes, those are her panties in her hand. Admit it...you looked, didn't you?
9. The pose is scary enough...but look at those eyes! It's time to break up with this one before you end up living an X-Files episode.
10. "Hi Mom...sorry, but this is a bad time to just stop in like this...John is out of town, the kids are in school and I'm in the middle of fucking three guys from the construction site across the street...you understand, don't ya?"

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. When she sings, Lisa sounds like a pack of tone-deaf coyotes, but for some reason EVERYONE comes to her karaoke performances.
2. Looking for backup singers before she found "The Supremes" in Motown, Diana Ross tried out "The Disinterested" from Capetown.
3. Where does P.E.T.A stand on forcing your beagle to pose for softcore erotic photography?
4. "Look at the cute goats. Look at what the goats are doing. No, look at the goats! What are you looking at? Don't you like the goats?"
5. "Oh, you think your boyfriend is hung 'like' a bull? Well, that's my boyfriend over there...he IS a bull!"
6. Whether she's diligently practicing her BJ technique or on her way to being an alcoholic, you gotta admire her work ethic.
7. "Shhhhh!" It's a library..."
8. Sexual enthusiasm. Love and tenderness. This photo says it all. Yes, sir!
9. She's not just hot...she's radioactive. (I know...it was a cheap and obvious caption choice!)
10. Today's small American farm owners are worse off than ever before...they can't even afford the traditional bib overalls. (Is that a "Carhart" tattoo on her left breast?)

[wildfire54]

Life is amazing.

1."Tom please! Not in front of my parents!"

2.Judging by the picture.Mr. James had to conclude that his usually shy daughter was making new friends in college.

3.Tony was quite amazed at all the great bargains he was finding at the Shop mart

4.It wasn't until a month later that Mrs. Parker found out she'd gotten a thorough exam from the janitor.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "Jake! Come on...I wanna take a bath...give me the key! Jake? JAKE???" (If any of you know where Jake is, please speak up.)
2. Jake left his wife on the cuff, so to speak, and having absconded with their life's savings, he now lives on a tropical island where despite his ludicrous appearance he is very popular with the ladies. (And there is nothing funny about that. )
3. Poor Janette...she really wanted to be in the "Girl's Caught Peeing" thread...but that dreaded "shy bladder" problem spoiled her plans.
4. Jenny Craig has a new "can't miss" program: " Craving fast food? Eat a friend instead."
5. "My eyes are up here....awww! You guys are sooooo typical!" ( When you show up topless in an OCC thread, what do you expect?)
6. "I know you've never been to a gynocologist before, but I assure you, this is standard proceedure"
7. "God...my tummy is still queasy from swallowing all that cum at the bachlorette party last night."
8. What country is Dulla from again? Anyone?
9. Maggie has the body of a beautiful human woman...only the glowing red eyes betray her Martian heritage.
10. "Now...what else is it gonna take to get you to drive that Chevy home today? (As far as sleazy used car salespeople go, you could do worse than Donna.)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Lucy was cumming so hard she thought her silicone implant was about to burst.
2. "Mom! Dad! You're early again! That's such a bad idea on laundry day!" ( It's just a ploy to get her parents to buy her new clothes)
3. Fluffy the cat was enjoying the sun and lying closely and quietly with the humans that feed her...then HE arrived! (Cat's eye view)
4. "Well Dave...if it's her you want...I'll just...I'll just...piss off this cliff!" (Patty's ultimatums were always ludicrous)
5. American park rangers hate having to inform european park guests that they aren't in Europe anymore... (the ticket is less if you smile)
6. "Well, yeah... I guess we could have sex if you really want to...OR WE COULD HAVE ICE CREAM!"
7. Although she was blind, Anna's other senses were uncanny. She knew by taste that she had just blown Henry...and that he had eaten Fritos and tuna for lunch.
8. The nice thing about private jets is the flight attendants give you a much better greeting than you get with commercial airlines.
9. It sucks when you turn into a zombie when you're right in the middle of enjoying some naked Wii..
10. "OK OK! That's enough fun for tonight" (Goodnight!)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Some people like fucking like "crazed weasels." Nikki is happy nuzzling a friendly ferret.
2. Virginia is pleased to not only discover that Santa is very real...he's much younger and better hung than she might have expected.
3. Humid Tropical climates do have some benefits...
4. Dog: "When you're free showing off your mature ass for the wankers at OCC... may I please get my toy?"
5. Exercising no restraint: " Sometimes you go to the adult novelty shop, see the leather pants and toys and... just kinda lose it...ya know?"
6. Now THAT'S a nose job! (For those who follow this thread...Is that "Aunt Lucille" from the male escort service in the background?)
7. PART ONE: The DeGrasio sisters are so glad their sister Louisa has finally settled her marriage problems. "Here she comes now!"
8. PART TWO (minutes earlier) Her husband's body parts safely secure in the bag, Louisa was ready for the ride to the cement factory.
9. Blow out the candle and make a wish. If your wish is to pull out the candle with your teeth and lick it clean... you're not alone.
10. When you certify for CPR with the Red Cross they have you practice on a "Resusci-Annie" doll. When you certify as a cunnilinguist...

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "So there was a sale on capri pants at Macy's. I got three pairs for sixty dollars!" (How women talk dirty... to each other)
2. Some guys just don't wash themselves as well as they should...ya know?
3. (PART ONE) Aren't you glad you paid extra for Jane's Nude Housekeeping Service?
4. (PART TWO) However, Jane herself should give up the job of quality control inspection to someone less nearsighted.
5. This POV shot is really how a lot of guys see women. (Just focus on the big pussy and hope for a little head)
6. DOG: "When you're through showing off your mature ass to the wankers at OCC...can we go for a walk?"
7. When John flicked on the light Mary knew she was busted. Her attempts to smile and pretend she was "undressing downstairs so as not to wake him" might have worked... had John not heard the sound of his best friend Steve's Camero roaring away.
8. "Careful...if you get too close...she'll spring!" (Young cougar in training)
9. "Ooooh my gaaawd! I am soooooo hairy!" ( Amanda takes matters in hand)
10. A naive Jane's Nude Housekeeping Service employee: She's unsure why the homeowner insists she cleans the dog hairs off the couch one at a time...while he watches.