[Voyeur] Funny, amazing, bizarre, or ridiculous situations while nude

[LTC_Dom]

Originally Posted by MFN

Recently at a local clothing-optional beach, some of our friends showed up and with them was a woman I hadn’t met before. She delayed taking her clothes off, but once she did she sat down on top of a large cooler, spread her legs, and put her hands to her pussy for a moment. When she took her hands away, her lips were wide open and the dark space within was clearly visible. How did she do this? She told us she’d taken a clear plastic napkin ring, about an inch long and an inch in diameter, and inserted it between her lips, giving her pussy a just-fucked look. A stripper friend of hers had told her this trick, apparently strip-joint clients like that look. Since it was clear, you didn’t notice the ring itself, only what it was holding open. So here was our new friend, and you could look deep inside her, past the pink and even into where light didn’t reach. She told us to get a good look, because she’d have to remove it before getting up to walk around.

I've never heard of this being used by strippers, but I have used a similar device for some private photo sessions. My preference was for a shower ring, nearly circular, but also clear plastic. It isn't as thick as a napkin ring I imagine, but the diameter is slightly greater. I did have to check my shots to make sure I wasn't getting an objectionable reflection.

[ripstar1]

I was driving back from a project site a few years ago. I took the backroads and passed a dingy-looking bar. I was thirsty and turned around and went in. Yep, several what I thought were conservative "country type folks" were there sipping beer.

I was greeted by a decent looking somewhat curvy gal bartender. Everyone at the bar were friendly and I ended up in casual conversation. At one point I turned around and was speaking to someone sitting at a table. I reached back for my beer and knocked it over spilling beer on the bar.

The crowd at the bar erupted and almost in unison and laughing said I was going to suffer the consequences - or something of the sort. I asked them what they meant and a couple of them pointed to a sign behind the bar that said, "Spill a drink and you deserve a spanking." I laughed along with them and helped the bartender wipe up the mess.

She brought me another beer and I bought a round for the house for my misdeed. Then the bartender came from around the bar and told me to come with her and receive my spanking. I laughed and followed her over to a table and she pointed to this table and "assume the position". Everyone including me was laughing.

Leaning over slightly I put my hands on the table awaiting my spanking. She said that I was not getting off that easy and reached around and undid my belt and opened the front of my pants. Soon my pants were around my ankles with my legs pushed apart and my shoulders pushed down toward the table.

I'm still laughing with everyone. Well she gave me a few bare handed spanks on each cheek then softly felt my butt and balls. Then two other gals in the bar also came up and gave me one on each cheek then gently caressed my butt. the last gal said ok you've received your punishment as she took a feel of my very visible balls from behind.

I rose up, stepped out of my pants and walked back to my beer jokingly saying my butt hurt too much to cover it. A few minutes later I put my pants back on as I was getting a boner. As the joking and laughter went on I was told that I was set up as the bartender had moved my beer to right behind my elbow guaranteeing I would knock it over eventually.

I protested that it wasn't fair and the bartender should be spanked for setting me up like that. The crowd agreed and egged her to be spanked for her doing that to me. Some customers jokingly threatened her with no tips if she didn't.

I was egged on to bring her to that table and give her the spanking. When she was waiting on a table I took her by the hand and dragged her toward the table. She protested a little, said not on her bare butt. The crowd called for bare butt. She "assumed the position" and I did as she had and lowered her jeans to her ankles.

That's enough she said, I said I didn't think she would like it if I damaged her panties and lowered them and spread her legs like mine were. I proceeded to give her several spanks on each cheek, giving her butt a soft caress between and giving her bare pussy a good feel. I couldn't believe how acceptance these folks were over this.

A woman came up with her phone and took a picture of her bare and red butt. How about you in the picture the gal said. I immediately lowered my pants and leaned over the table next to her and the gal took pictures of our bare butts.

Later while talking at the bar this gal came up me with a folder. In it were numerous pictures of peoples' bare red butts including the bartender. They explained that it all started out one drunken evening when the bartender confessed that she liked to be spanked as she got turned on by giving and receiving spankings. It became a "tradition" and the spankings happened once in a while when they thought someone would go along with it.

I did and still get a good chuckle thinking about it. I've never been back there (It is quite far and out of the way). I never got into spanking with sex until I was seeing this gal who loved it. We did it once in a while. The best time was when we were at a swingers club and did it with another couple in front of a crowd. I got erect from having it done in front of the crowd.

[MFN]

Originally Posted by LTC_Dom

I've never heard of this being used by strippers, but I have used a similar device for some private photo sessions. My preference was for a shower ring, nearly circular, but also clear plastic. It isn't as thick as a napkin ring I imagine, but the diameter is slightly greater. I did have to check my shots to make sure I wasn't getting an objectionable reflection.

The woman I described, with the ring from the bottle cap, said she couldn't walk comfortably with it in; that's why she told us to get a good look inside her before she took it out. In your case, you were posing, but did you try walking, or at least standing up between poses? If so, what was the result?

I'm a male art model at two nearby colleges, and once when posing with a female model she inserted a ring while the two of us were still in the changing room, but as we were walking out to the podium it popped out. She still had her robe on, so nobody was the wiser.

[Daddygd]

From our first time dating and being married over 40 years, my wife never seems to amaze me with some of our sexual interludes.

My first bizarre time was about three months after we began dating. She was just nineteen at the time. Her best friend moved several miles away and had just had a baby. She is a tiny skinny girl with hardly any breasts at all. My wife then had some nice round and smooth perfect medium sized breasts. She wanted to go visit her friend for a couple of days and see her new baby.

The second day there, we headed from the hotel to her friends house. Her husband had to work. When we arrived, her friend was wearing her bathrobe still. After a bit, I stepped outside taking my time to smoke a cigarette.

When I walked back into the house, My wife was sitting on the couch, topless. She was holding the baby to her breast like she was nursing it. Well the baby was sucking her nipple. She smiled at me and told me her friend was taking a shower and the baby got fussy so she decided to try it our and see what it felt like and calm the baby down.

I was sort of shocked yet was laughing my ass off. I told her not to like it too well because I didn't want kids right away. She giggled at that and then switched the baby over to her other tit.

When her friend came out of the shower just wrapped in a towel and took the baby to actually feed it, she just dropped her towel and held the baby up to her tiny nipple to feed it. First time I had seen a shaved pussy. Well one thing led to another and well, things happened.

[kuba123]

Originally Posted by Daddygd

When her friend came out of the shower just wrapped in a towel and took the baby to actually feed it, she just dropped her towel and held the baby up to her tiny nipple to feed it. First time I had seen a shaved pussy. Well one thing led to another and well, things happened.

I hope you won't leave us like that, without specifying what kind of things happened.

[nectcouple]

Originally Posted by Daddygd

When I walked back into the house, My wife was sitting on the couch, topless. She was holding the baby to her breast like she was nursing it. Well the baby was sucking her nipple. She smiled at me and told me her friend was taking a shower and the baby got fussy so she decided to try it our and see what it felt like and calm the baby down.

Natural pacifier, I guess. I know I would be content!

[FawazAli]

I am writing this episode here cause I couldnt find a suitable thread for it. The moderators can move it to appropriate thread if they like.

Anyway, one of our young mangers who is married to a gorgeous but a bit snobbish lady went to a business meeting in Europe along with another manger. He resigned as soon as he came back. The matter was hushed up. The other manger is a very close friend and told me that when the guy passed through the metal detector, all sort of alarms went off. They were both taken to a room for detailed search, where they found out that other guy was wearing a chastity device. Apparently his wife did not trust him not to cheat when abroad and had made him wear the chastity device. The security guys had a good laugh and had let them go but this guy was so embarrassed that he left the company.

[Everard]

First, a confession – I posted this story in another thread a couple of years back, but it would appear to fit here too:

Many years ago I had a girlfriend, Tina, who was a fair bit younger than me; she was attractive, sexy and passionate. But with me still living at home and her sharing a flat with two other girls, opportunities for privacy were a little hard to come by. It became our custom, particularly in the summer, to head out of the city to a country pub, where we would sit and wait for the sun to go down. Then when we’d decided it was dark enough, we’d drive down the road to a deserted lane, where we would park, strip off, and enjoy a few glasses of wine before getting down to some steamy rampant sex.

One night after we had done the deed, I felt the need to answer a call of nature and got out of the car. While relieving myself I heard some shuffling, followed by a loud click. And when I tried to get back in … I couldn’t. She’d locked me out.

So there I was, twenty miles from home, stuck outside the car in a country lane where anyone could walk or drive past at any time, and not a stitch on. And this was twenty-five years before I became a naturist! I spent a very uncomfortable few minutes trying to persuade Tina to let me back in (during which time she was jumping up and down laughing, sounding the horn and flashing the lights) and making a supreme effort not to let her know how annoyed I was. Eventually, she unlocked the door. (She couldn’t drive so at least I knew she wasn’t going to shoot off and leave me stranded.)

A week or so later we were back in the same spot and once more, I got out. And once more, I heard the click. This time I simply let myself back in using the spare key I’d had cut the day before, hidden in the door pocket, and picked up as I got out.

What puzzled me, though, was that I never attempted to lock her out of the car in similar circumstances. Perhaps I’m just not as mean as she was!

[piecenick]

Maybe she wanted you to lock her out also?

[ripstar1]

Once she let me back in I would have laughed it off with her as I pleasantly drove her home for the last time.

Talk about immature - flashing lights and sounding horn.