The Great Bride Thread

[osreb]

Q. Do you know why no woman will ever be truly satisfied?
A. Because no man will ever have a Chocolate Penis that ejaculates
Money!

[osreb]

HER SIDE OF THE STORY:

He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar. I thought it might have been my
fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going, so I thought we should go off
somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this
restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny.
I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.
So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything.
We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to
dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV.
Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else???

HIS SIDE OF THE STORY:

My team lost. Felt kinda tired. Got laid though.

[butterman]

Getting ready for the night

[osreb]

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

He walked in; She turned and said, You've got to make love to me this very
moment.'

His eyes lit up and he thought, 'This is my lucky day.'

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all;
right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

[osreb]

Bobbitt Family Update
In a recent news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister, Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago.
Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with ....
?
?
?
?
A Misdewiener!

[osreb]

Bikini bridal shower series

2 bride pics

[osreb]

wedding, reception and honeymoon

[citroenc4]

I would love to see her nude...

[osreb]

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
'Heavens no, we bought it.'
'Then why don't you drive it away.'
We can't drive.'
Then why did you buy it?'
'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ...so we're just waiting.

[osreb]

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? Who's bed???..and Who the hell are you???
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