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  #261  
Old 11-11-2014, 09:56 PM
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Default Mulder has good taste

Quote:
Originally Posted by deblisa View Post
I wish he would come back. Denise is missed!
Denise is one of my all time favorites too. I'd put her in my Hall of Oblivion but choose to honor Maximus665's request to not post her. Out of curiosity I wish I knew the stories of why people leave the site...did someone at their kid's school recognize mom? Did someone lose a job after pics were discovered? Was a hubby posting without permission and got caught by an angry wife? Did someone just get scared? It's anyone's guess. I miss Maximus665 and Denise and Fox Mulder. I hope they are happy wherever they are.


But let's cheer up with a caption (Do you recall this very forgetable song from the 70s?
1. "Torn between two loverrrs...feeling like a foool...lovin' both of you...is breakin' aall the ruuules. "
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  #262  
Old 11-13-2014, 08:02 AM
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Default

1. In Japan the pussy is worshipped...just before it's fucked into a sloppy mess.
2. Uh... she's already GOT a pearl necklass.
3. WHEN YOU'RE YOUNG: "I'm hoping to get some tan for my big weekend with Jeff. I'm soooo excited!"
4. WHEN YOU'RE OLDER: "My dermatologist has referred me to an oncologist. I'm so scared."
5. Your dog is excited to see you when you roll into your driveway. Rich guys who pull into condo parking garages get good welcomes too.
6. Telly Savalas is heaven...or is it Yul Brenner? I can't tell, but I know it's a bald guy...and I know he's in heaven.
7. Those earlier mentioned rich guys also have nice big showers in their condos.
8. Oooooh! Foreskin! (Alison had A LOT of helmet heads before she enjoyed the novelty of her first ant eater.)
9. Amanda is from Ohio. You can clearly see the "O."
10. "I got your 'Call of Duty' right here, Game Boy!"
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  #263  
Old 11-13-2014, 07:21 PM
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Default Cheer the fuck up, will ya?

1. Hey kids...ever wonder what your boring old parents do when you're away at band camp?
2. It's been a while for Aunt Martha, but she hasn't forgotten what to do with a hard young cock.
3. My dad had a billiard table in his game room. Can you believe he was into such a boring game?
4. When our daughter made too much noise in her room we'd just turn the fan on higher.
5. "Oh come on Gina...I'll only stick it in a little." (Gina knows the reason she's here is that her father told her mother the same thing)
6. In Florida, Bill the Nascar lover don't need none of that Vi-agra. His wife's Danica Patrick roll playing always does the trick.
7. Meanwhile, up north a ways...Bertha is determined to hang onto summer as long as she can.
8. "There were about five of them...about this tall..with gray skin and large black eyes. They took my swimsuit and my ovaries."
9. "Oh shit... (chuckle chuckle) I just got that joke from last week's post!" (Maybe my humor is too dry)
10. Jim is happy to finally be fucking Dana. Dana just wishes he hadn't eaten that huge plate of garlic fries at dinner.
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  #264  
Old 11-15-2014, 12:38 PM
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Default Saturday morning funnies

1. Kim made careful comparisons before finally deciding she was better off alone than marrying Les.
2. "Come! Come! You enjoy my wife with me!" (Vlad ran the friendliest Hotel in Moscow.)
3. After being stood up at the altar, Tina chose to enjoy her honeymoon anyway..
4. Hope doesn't need a life jacket. There are two good reasons why Hope floats.
5. If you like the Blue Man Group, you'll LOVE the Blue Woman Solo.
6. Paula did not appreciate her roommate Erin's late night porn shoots...especially on school nights.
7. Gail had no enthusiasm for masturbation after she lost her much loved toy, "Mr. Humongous."
8. Can you please help Liz find her sense of humor? She thinks she sat on it.
9 "No, I don't have Olive oil in a can, but I've got a huge dildo in MY can."
10. Life is more fun when you turn off the TV and try to get to know one another better.
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  #265  
Old 11-15-2014, 12:52 PM
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Default Dealing With Unwanted Sexual Situations. Lesson #1

1. Stay alert for any sign of a random erection..
2. When you're sure the male is erect and intends to fuck you, simply block his access to your genitals. Note: Turn your head away to discourage the possibility of oral gratification and also to telegraph your disinterest.
3. Now you have successfully forced the male to seek his sexual pleasure elsewhere.

It's so simple.
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  #266  
Old 11-15-2014, 08:02 PM
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Default Saturday night funnies

1. The aliens have landed. How to spot their women: Pointy heads with no eyes, mouth or nose and ears that turn sharply downward.
(Scary, huh? Nice breasts though)
2. College is a place where a young woman can get a quality education...and a good sandwich.
3. "What the..." (The last frame found on her voyeur landlord's hidden spy camera. )
4. Texting and smoking in the bathroom is very dangerous. Distracted, you may not hear that camera click...and end up on the Internet.
5. Puzzles and pussy. Perfect.
6. Lesbians practicing safe sex.
7. Good advice #1. Always make sure you have a reliable ride home from the skinny dipping party.
8. Good advice #2. Always practice good vaginal hygiene. No one wants to be left out of a good orgy.
Pictures 9 and 10. You only think you know lesbians. All they really do when alone together is play leapfrog.
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  #267  
Old 11-15-2014, 08:05 PM
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Default FANBOY ALERT

REVEALED

George Lucas's inspiration for the opening scene of STAR WARS!
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  #268  
Old 11-16-2014, 12:33 PM
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Default Sunday Funnies

1. "It says here before shoving my giant cock deep up your little ass I should rub some of this stuff on it. " ( Large Leon learns about lube.)
2. "Yeah..that sounds like my husband...faster! FASTER!" ( Cum first. Apologize later)
3. Women should be warned. Mixing Viagra with shaken up Pepsi and Pop Rocks causes semen to explode.
4. After a long day at the brothel, Donna likes to enjoy a cold one.
5. When hubby interrupted their anniversary celebration for yet another office emergency, Lisa used the time to practice her technique.
6. Look at that smile...Dave's forehead might as well have a flashing neon sign on it reading: "Lucky Bastard!"
7. The early bird gets the worm. The sleeping dog gets nothing but sleep.
8. Becky wanted to thank the nice police officers for finding her cat, but she was fresh out of donuts.
9. Can you pass the blind ass sensitivity test? Does that hand belong to a pretty brunette lesbian or a Ukranian sex trafficker?
10. Guys...you can be sensitive and giving, but once a woman has your manhood under lock and key, she WILL kick you around some.
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  #269  
Old 11-18-2014, 08:06 PM
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Default Silliest blond, like... EVER? (PART ONE OF TWO PARTS)

So this photographer found a cute little blond to pose naked for him. I looked through a prolific amount of pictures from the pictorial and most of what I saw was like this. How did these pictures happen? Maybe it went like this...

1. "Pose naked, huh? Yeah...I could do that. I think. What? Oh...you want to get me to do what? Pose naked, huh? Ummmm. OK."
2. If you find her wankable, do it over this pic. It all goes to hell from here.
3. This is the first indication that this woman isn't focused on the task at hand...is there something good on TV?
4. "If I hold my breath my breasts will look bigger!"
5. "Look! I'm a horny zombie girl! Grrrr...grrrr!"
6. (Yawn) "I guess I should have gotten more than just twelve hours of sleep last night."
7. "NO! Don't take a picture now! I'm having a thigh cramp!"
8. "Hmmmm...I should have put nicer nail polish on my toes."
9. "Hey! I told you damned kids to keep the noise down! Can't you see your mother is doing a sexy model shoot type-thingie?"
10. "Ok...that's enough for today. It's hard work being a sex goddess!"
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  #270  
Old 11-18-2014, 08:43 PM
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Default Silliest blond, like... EVER? (PART TWO OF TWO PARTS)

Here's another set of silliness

1. "Oh yeah...the photographer dude is back. Maybe he will like it that I can almost touch my nose with my tongue...almost"
2. As she eats breakfast the photographer snaps away. He has planned a beach day and then some hardcore, but this is as hard as it gets.
3. This sexy look is what the expression "Rode hard and put away wet" was created to describe.
4. " OK I'm starting to dress for the beach...Wait...it's the beach...shouldn't I undress? ...wait...what was I doing?"
5. At the beach she attempts to levitate.
6. This sexy leg lift pose was learned by imitating others she saw on the beach. (It was a dog beach.)
7. "Damn...ouch! There's some weird thing with claws biting my pussy!" (You never see this pose in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.)
8. Practicing hard for the hardcore oral sex shots to come.
9. Maybe the photographer shouldn't have hired his cousin, Large Leon, to do the blow job shots. After throwing up on her first try, she talked the photographer (easily) into doing more soft core stuff instead.
10. The last shot taken before the photographer was found dead of an apparent suicide. Other than these pictures there were no clues as to why he'd take his own life.
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