I love you, funny face!

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. The shower water spicket in Ivan's house was quite interesting to his female house guests.
2. Dunta dunta dunta dunta" ( Music from Jaws)
3. Cammy was always amazed by the wide variety of cock shapes out there...and in her.
4. "You don't say! All I have to do is keep pulling this thing and it will dispense facial moisturizer? " (Annie was very gullible)
5. Mascara makes a woman more beautiful? I think not.
6. Idiocy makes a woman more beautiful? I think not.
7. This is sexy in the 21st century. Our grandparents will never understand.
8. Dating a dentist made Mary a little confused about the concept of oral sex.
9. I'll bet you didn't know that women have a remote that reboots their pussies if they have a reproductive system failure.
10. "Ta ta, Dahling...cum again sometime!"

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Warning: Drinking and oral sex do not mix...
2. With alcohol a blowjob can accidentally become a toejob. Don't drink and blow.
3. Janette and Pierre really know the safest way to while away a Thursday night.
4. These damned kids today and their cell phones...it seems like they are married to their devices...or at least fucking them! It ain't healthy!
5. Ladies, stay healthy this winter. To avoid colds, dress warmly and enjoy a mouthful of hot cum as often as possible.
6. It takes a sick lonely man to do something like this...
7. And it takes a sicker lonelier man to do this.
8. Guess what Frank is doing with his right hand. Hint...he's got another pole.
9. "Oh, think you're getting a handjob tonight? You failed to pick up the aspirin I asked for...again! Inconsiderate men get no favors!"
10. Sperm buildup can cause major health problems. See a handjob expert often for relief.

[Larry87]

a few that amuse me

[wildfire54]

It happens.

1."I know your the landlord.But shouldn't you knock before entering an apartment?"

2."I don't get it.Some guys think I'm to easy."

3."Really,Honey. It's almost like this guy sitting across from me is looking right up my skirt."

4.Alena just couldn't figure out why people liked snorting Coke so much.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Cross eyed Mary had a Jethro Tull song written about her. Ian Anderson didn't mention her nice cleavage.
2. The care packages for soldiers overseas are getting more individualized. Pvt. Graham the nympho is grateful for the support.
3. Speaking of nymphomaniacs, Lizzy has a moment of personal reflection after fucking six guys. Should she quit this lifestyle? Naw!
4. Another beautiful erotic moment captured by a loving boyfriend's camera.
5. "It's my dick. I know it's not real but it's the only one I have. Stop laughing. Fuck off! Who asked you to take pictures anyway?!"
6. Lorena Bobbit she's not, but she's got the angry look down.
7. "All right...which one of you fuckers used my dildo?" (Jenny was begining to realize that living with gay men had some drawbacks)
8. What they don't realize is that all three were cheating on their husbands with the same guy, Fertile Fred.
9. Ben was so insatiable he wouldn't even give his wife full bathroom breaks.
10. Yeah...this is what women really do when men aren't around to see them.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. She's still no Lorena Bobbit...but she's still pissed off.
2. What Santa gives all the good little girls on Christmas Eve.
3. Bobbi Jo gave her boyfriend horse steroids before their handjob date...
4. Just say "Nay."
5. Even though she was blinded for life, Karen was an awfully good sport.
6. Donna believed in the power of the mind. She's seen here thinking herself drunk.
7. "These shots are for your Facebook page."
8. Porn addiction isn't just a guy thing.
9. The cowboy hog-tied her and stuffed his bandana into her mouth...then he rode off into the sunset. He was from Brokeback Mountain.
10. For Debbie, disco will never die. Boogie on, baby!

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. The Phantom of Victoria's Secret
2. When you have tits like this, you open your shirt with confidence and pride.
3. When you have an ass like this, you spread your cheeks with confidence and pride.
4. Nancy knew she would catch her roommate stealing her lingerie one day so she kept the camera handy.
5. "Hey baby... (heavy breathing) What are you wearing? (More heavy breathing) Is it from the seventies?" (Obscene fashion critic)
6. Raul really knew how to fuck up a good erotic photograph.
7. "Does showering make my ass look clean?"
8. The wet dream of postmen who deliver tons of junk mail all day.
9. When you sit on your just showered girlfriend and try to make her lick your sweaty balls....
10. ...you get what you deserve.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Guido hated that damned dog. It got more attention from Anna than he did. He knee blocked it out of this picture. He was a petty man.
2. Victoria always had dreams of going out and forgetting her pants...then one day it actually happened.
3. Bella believed in deep, deep cleaning.
4. Sure Arya had to fuck four ugly rich guys...but the house was hers!
5. Donna patiently waited for Mario to get home from work.
6. "Bastardo! Liar! You weren't alone this weekend! These aren't mine!"
7. Entrepreneur Andrea made a real killing with her holistic penis massage business.
8. You sleepa with the other woman? This isa gonna be your next lover!"
9. Madonna tried and tried to explain the theory of relativity to Angelo...
10. Finally she gave up and just blew him.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Class...can anyone guess what time of year this couple was fucking? Raise your hand if you know the answer...anyone? ANYONE?
2. He's got good food...he's got two lesbian students nearby...and all coach Smith wants to do is beat off while thinking about football.
3. Math problem: "Hey...I only agreed to do a threesome porno film...so who the fuck is the old dude with the hat?" (John, the guy with the hat, isn't really a porn star...but he stayed in a Holiday Inn last night)
4. Guess which college professor just scratched off the number one thing on his bucket list?
5. "Dude...fuck her man! Yeah! Fuck the shit out of her! Whooo!" ( After getting his wish from a genie in a bottle, Frank the frat boy may have miraculously inhabited a woman's body, but he never learned to tone down his personality)
6. Fluffy was only after a nap. Now he was about to get an education in girl girl adventures.
7. "You invited three drunk football players up here to see your science project... Lesson learned, Cathy! "Can I cheer you up with a puppy and a bunny? (Liz was a thoughtful college roomate)
8. "OK Mongo...now do it just how I taught you..." (Some guy's mothers never butt out of their lives)
9. And you mount the woman thus...hey! Are you paying attention? This is going to be on the test!" ( Ben was a thorough Sex ed teacher)
10. "So dude, you want to share a motel room to save money...sounds good to me." She has never seen any of the "Taken" movies)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Someone on this bed is going to have a nap interrupted. Someone else on this bed is going to get fucked...
2. Dizzy Dora is giving it her very best guess which is which.
3. In twister country, porn movie producers have a novel way of keeping their studio roofs on.
4. In poorer parts of Mexico doctors can't afford thermometers. They make do.
5. I can hear the ghost of Chris Farley singing "Fat guy.. in a little..mouth."
6. If Helen has two of anything she always shared with Lisa.
7. Usually it's her husband who fucks the babysitter, but while he's in the hospital, Sue attends to all his business.
8. She's going to win the bet! She can get you off with both hands tied behind her back!
9. Jill takes a nude selfie for her spouse who is away on business...
10. Jack is very excited to get the picture. (Same sex marriage equals ♡ The ghost approves.)