Divorce Court

[bigi442000]

A quick word to the wise. Keep checking this thread early and often. Some of my posts are being deleted almost as fast as I can put them up.

Kats meow, thanks for the visual!

[bigi442000]

I have grave doubts this marriage can be saved, given that Mrs Farquar insists on referring to her husband as a "spawn of Satan," whereas Mr Farquar keeps referring to his wife as "that evil, cheating ho."

[bigi442000]

In this matter, it appears the honeymoon started well, until Mr Oates insisted upon wearing his lucky hat to the cruise formal night. There he was accosted by passengers wanting to know if he was starring in the remake of Gilligan's Island, by others who were sure that they had seen him in Forrest Gump and others simply inquiring, "Which way to the potato patch?"

[bigi442000]

In this case, Mrs Schimellpfenning not only engaged in rather unusual encounters with her twin sister, they kept a written tally of their adventures. When Mr Schimellpfenning found the evidence he attacked his wife with a bathroom tool. Fortunately for all involved, he was so dim witted he tried to insert the implement from the wrong end. I'm sure he must have been frustrated, but the photographic evidence will never fail to get a big laugh!

[bigi442000]

Mrs Vincenzo was the perfect wife according to her husband, who describes her as "a lady in the dining room, a cook in the kitchen, a nanny in the nursery and a wh*r* in the bedroom." Unfortunately, she expanded her whoring to the living room.

[bigi442000]

Mr Mink was a longtime suitor and finally convinced his girlfriend to marry him, telling her that he was about to ship out after joining the army. Taking pity, she relented. After having his way with every orifice in her body several times over, Mr Mink allowed that he had only joined the SALVATION Army!

[bigi442000]

Mr Wolders was an out of work actor. His claim to fame was his role in the 90s in the short lived series Temptation Island. His last work was as the 3rd penguin from the left in Madagascar 3! Then his luck turned. He was cast in the role of Shemp in Oliver Stone's latest bio-pic - Working title "I, Stooge." As is their wont, this persuaded the good people of Minnesota that he was worthy of election. He is now the Attorney General. His first official act was to drop his wife like a bad habit!

[bigi442000]

This is a cautionary tale if there ever was one! Mrs Fang apparently waited until their wedding night to tell her new husband that she was the daughter of Melvin "Ming the Merciless" Wong, the overlord of the Ah Fung Tong. Every male that ever so much as looked at Ming's daughter in the past had suffered the death of 1000 cuts, quick fried in peanut oil and served at the Hong Kong Dubuque as the daily special. This should be a lesson to every man - look before you leap! The emergency divorce is granted.

[bigi442000]

Mr Wilde loved to drink straight lemon juice; so much so that it gave his semen a highly acidic content. This caused untold agonies to Mrs Wilde when forced to perform fellatio. I must say I had a hard time believing this, until I saw the photos!

[bigi442000]

Mr Bender insists that things were normal until his wife was sucked into a hole by the Old Mill Road. Following, he discovered the the hole was populated by Invaders from Mars. The invaders placed a small metallic device in a location most people would not notice and began to control Mrs Bender's actions. Also, he says, they did something to her eyes. Rescuing her from the invaders, Mr Bender fled with his wife to Des Moines. There she would insist on toasting steel wool for breakfast and licking the light sockets. Mr Bender says he knew that she was still under the Martians' control when he found her making love to a taser, grunting "I like it!" The divorce base on insanity is granted.