I love you, funny face!

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right top to bottom)

1. "I'll put it to a vote...how many members think I should suck this thing?"
2. When you have large breasts, you need all kinds of help keeping them packaged properly.
3. Jay thinks he has his girlfriend's permission for a facial!
4. He does!
5. The conga line of your wildest dreams. You are picturing yourself somewhere in the middle -aren't you?
6. High winds on the beach today...
7. A proper lesbian kiss is not a face mashing, giggling inhibited mess...
8. You've got to open up and let that tongue in!
9. "OK...the votes are in....and it looks like...
10. WE ALL WIN!

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. "Do you like denim...? I certainly do...!"
2. Jenny seems to be getting a lot of joy out of her joy stick.
3. No need for a caption here. It's just funny.
4. Give a girl an "Amstel" beer and she'll do anything for you.
5. This one has obviously had a whole case of "Amstel' beer.
6. If your gardener watered your plants like mine does, you'd pay extra money for her services too.
7. Lesbian Matchmakers Inc...has another successful business venture!
8. A new Olympic event: The Wet Neck Lesbian Lift. I'd say a gold medal is in the offing.
9. From the "How Many Women Does It Take To Pee?" Department. Having a "paper girl" is always desirable.
10. Imagine if you were like living in a zombie film, and all the zombies were like cute college girls...this might be the like last thing you'd ever see- and you wouldn't mind, 'cause they'd look so cute before they eat your brain...dude.

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right, top to bottom)

1. Caught trying to put on all her panties at once?
2. Nancy doesn't have the largest breasts you'll ever see- but they sure will do in a pinch!
3. "Honey, you will take me shopping this evening -or I'll drown Toto!"
4. "See this ass, boys? It's mine...all mine!" (Katie was a very possessive lover)
5. Let's see...one woman on her knees and the other pulling up her panties...I'd say something smells (and tastes) just a little bit fishy here.
6. John comes too soon again- and Marilyn isn't one bit happy about it.
7. Singing or cumming? If she's riding your cock and this is the face she's making- either way it's a good thing.
8. Is that a Borg implant under her right (your left) eye? Resistance is futile!
9. Krupa is trying to cum- but she's noticing that there are cobwebs on the ceiling that need to be cleaned soon.
10. Forget what the TV says- according to Rachel, Big Jim Slade don't need no male enhancement.

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right -top to bottom)

1. Eyeballs....get it?
2. Eye-balls...you see, his balls are in her eyes...it's a pun...oh fuck it!
3. You and I are looking at the tanned ass and panties. Jake is looking at that tattered skirt and wondering why she never wears the dress he bought her for her birthday last August. Jake is a very small and petty man.
4. If your girlfriend starts acting crazy and drooling she might have hydrophobia... notify the authorities at once!
5. "Oh damn! That reminds me...I forgot the coffee creamer!" (Dee is a terrible shopper but she gives a great BJ)
6. Francine is having a terrible dream that some pervert is taking pictures of her while she sleeps...(Uh oh!)
7. Some women will just say "no" with confidence...
8. ...others shrink in fear...
9. ...but Evelyn absolutely worships the uncircumcised cock. (Take heart, you anteaters!)

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. Any woman who brings a butt plug to the bath shouldn't be surprised to see a cock show up.
2. There's got to be an easier way for a girl to get some shampoo...
3. "OK, cameras rolling? ...Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Gina. I'm a chemical engineer who has come up with a new toilet paper which causes orgasms. I am about to try an experimental wipe...I am now placing the tissue between my legs thus and..."
4. "...ahhhh! Oh God! Yeeees! it works!" (Orgasmic toilet paper...it beats squeezing the Charmin)

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right -top to bottom)

1. Women love art. This one? Literally loves art!
2. Another sweet treat from the Nymphomaniac Baking Company.
3. The funny thing was...it was only about an inch long when it was flaccid.
4. The most efficient secretary ever...obviously skilled at multi-tasking.
5. We've seen some awesome wedgies in this thread...but this one actually sends her to the emergency room?
6. You've heard of cock fighting? How about cock wrestling? (You go girl!)
7. Communication is very important in a relationship.

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. After sucking a flaccid penis for 30 minutes, Julie is getting frustrated- but Julie is no quitter. Slurp on, Julie!
2. Doing her best imitation of a "Hose Monster."
3. Cum up the nose...the guy is in for a BIG white surprise when she sneezes...a reverse facial perhaps?
4. He came in her face while she was waiting for her nails to dry...Anne's boyfriend was just a little mean sometimes.
5. This is the new thing in Alaska- it's called the Nose Job.
6. "Tight young ass...it's what's for dinner." (Once again, use your best Sam Elliot voice when you say that.)
7. How girls look when you offer them $10,000 for a blow job.
8. Eat too much pussy and your eyes will do that.
9. The sun is going down and the long ride is over...and someone with a red pussy never wants to ride like this again.
10. No caption needed- the faces say it all.

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right- top to bottom)

1. Women everywhere are "raising facial awareness" by directing penises back at their lovers just before orgasm...
2. ...they are calling this practice "Reverse Facial Revenge" or, informally: "Let's See How YOU Like It, Buddy!"
3. The new Iron Man XXX movie will be out this summer. Iron Man's penis is shown here in this exclusive photo.
4. 100,000 cans of Reddi Whip were recalled today after a disgruntled worker was found masturbating in the formula.
5. Speaking of masturbation, here's two young students sharing new techniques at Sadie's Self Abuse School.
6. In response to "Reverse Facial Revenge" men are fighting back by making their lovers sleep on the wet spot.
7. Got a friend with a bad attitude? Spray her with 'bird away" and those naughty gestures will disappear!
8. Some men can't find the G-Spot- while other men need help even finding the vagina.
9. "A vibrator hidden in a Chap Stix?" Poor naive Kim not only doesn't believe- she's totally unaware that Anne is using one at this very moment.
10. When Vera was alone she liked to dress up and pretend she was Mata Hari, seducing officers for military secrets.

[Fox Mulder]

(Captions read left to right top to bottom)

1. Mary's Valentine's Day blow job was so spectacular that she and Joe began to dissolve.
2. Jane discovered that baked beans was not the wisest choice for her girlfriend's Valentine's Day meal.
3. If your Valentine chokes on her bubblegum, just squeeze her breasts- that ought to dislodge it!
4. Someone forgot to give her lover a Valentine's Day card- so now she has to to write words of love elsewhere.
5. Same problem here- except this absent minded girl writes with lipstick- and uses the other side of the "paper."
6. " The Awakening." It's is an example of why it's no fun to spend Valentine's Day in a dorm with a mean roommate.
7. Love sick girls should not be locked indoors on Valentine's Day- or they'll go nuts.

[doovde]

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