Mall Santa

[fitne]

Me: So, you're interested in the Elf position.
Applicant: Yes, I have a couple of free weeks during the Christmas break from university.

Me: Are you good with kids.
Applicant: Absolutely, my sister has 3 kids and I'm around them all the time.

Me: Interview going well. Next, I have to see you naked to check for tattoos, bruises, etc. It's SOP.
Applicant: Sure, no problem.

[fitne]

Me: Welcome, I see you are wearing a face covering.
Applicant: Yes, I must cover my face.

Me: So you are interested in being an Elf.
Applicant: Yes, it's just for my two young kids. They just want to celebrate the holiday. They're too young to understand the religious significance.

Me: We are a diversified and inclusive society so all are welcome. Interview going well. Next, I have to see you naked to check for any tattoos, bruises and/or piercings.

Applicant: I assure you I am all natural but sure you can see me naked but I must keep my face covered.

[fitne]

Security guard: Santa, we caught this woman stealing the kids' presents.

Santa: Young woman, theft is a serious offence. Ok, we'll give you a choice. We can call the police but you will have a police record and probably never get a decent job in the future. Or, we can strip you naked and put you in the penalty box for 10 minutes.
Young woman: Ok, I'll take the penalty box.