sexless marraige changed my view. (I'm happy now)

[Leviticus59]

Originally Posted by kajuk

I would like to hear from others in sexless marriages—how did you handle it?

I handled it by eventually divorcing her.

I married the homecoming queen, a very pretty girl with a great body who, before we got married, was happy to flop down and fuck any time, anywhere, sometimes in pretty dangerous situations (like getting busted by parents, etc). I thought I'd hit a home run marrying a smart, very attractive girl who certainly put on the appearance of liking sex as much as I did. But as soon we got married it was if a switch got flipped to the "OFF" position. We did not have sex on our wedding night (she claimed she'd drank too much champaign) and it was all downhill from there. A complete bait-and-switch. But being young, stupid, and very much in love with her, I stuck it out for 20 years before kicking her still very shapely ass to the curb.

Skipping a bunch of drama I then met and married a 40-year old big titted blonde who loved to fuck and still does. Been married to her for over 25 years now and she has been a great wife and a great mother to our blended family. We're in our mid-60s now and she still sucks my cock a time or two a week. The peace, support, and stress relief she brought to my life has been immeasurable.

Some women simply don't understand that men. need. sex. Some do understand but just don't care, and will force their marriages into celibacy anyway. They got their couple of kids and a house, and the husband becomes an afterthought, which they won't even bother with anymore. It's incredibly damaging to marriage relationships.

There's a YouTube channel called The Happy Wife School which is hosted by a woman who was doing the same thing to her husband before finally figuring it out and saving her marriage. The comments sections to her videos are filled with hopeless, hapless men who have stayed for decades in sexless marriages, who feel they can't leave without giving up half the assets they worked their entire lives for.

Also check out videos by Bettina Arndt, a clinical psychologist who is an advocate for men. She also describes the sexless marriage very accurately.

Finally, for those of you guys who struggling with this, check out a book by Robert Glover titled No More Mr. Nice Guy. Chances are good that you'll be reading all about yourself as you work through his material.

[villagebarrelmaker2]

In retrospect, it is unquestionable that my now ex-wife viewed sex as a courtship tool. We had a perfectly fine sex life before we got married. After we got married, sex was for procreation only. The sex on our honeymoon was bad and practically non-existent.

I'll never forget about three weeks into our marriage, on a free Sunday afternoon, I suggested to my wife that we have sex. Her reply? "No, I'm not interested." It stayed that way for the most part for nearly 26 years. We had sex very, very, rarely and she never had any interest in sex or initiated it. She had only two orgasms during our marriage, which were both during a one-week period, even though I was up for doing whatever she wanted. She just didn't want anything.

I agree with the idea that helping with the housework, etc. has nothing to do with it. My wife had what she watned--a sperm donor with a good income. She stayed home with the kids and really didn't have much interest in me as long as the money kept flowing in.

The embarassing thing is that once she got from me what she wanted--the children and financial security-- she tossed me out. I should have divorced her about a year into our marriage, but I bought into her world view.

Now I am with a partner who is very sexual. We enjoy pleasing each other sexually. It's been going for 11 years and everything is great. I feel very lucky. I don't think a relationship can be strong without a sexual component.

As far as the "good girl" issue goes, it's true that my current partner has much more sexual experience than my ex had had, in large part because my partner has always been horny and my wife never was. I don't doubt that part of what attracted me to my wife was that she didn't have a lot of sexual experience, and was accordingy, in my mind, a 'good girl." When I got married, at 26, there was no way I would have been interested in my now partner because I would have viewed her as having too much sexual experience.

However, a largely sexless 26-year marriage sure cured me of that prejudice. If you want a woman who desires sex, then I think you need to admit that she will have desired sex before you came on the scene.

I grew up with religious guilt about sex. When I was young, I was judgmental about women who were too horny. Yet another bad thing about religion.