[Request] sex in marriage

[mikee45]

hello canada

what is her excuse for not having sex with you?

and what is the reason when she allows you to have sex with her?

[sooty]

I had more sex in a year with a prior gf than in my 25 years married! No lie!
The problem is I do love her. She is a great person and fun to be with. She just cant overcome this. Weve been to good therapists but they really do nothing but depress her beyond being daily functional.
Bet nobody can top that![/QUOTE]

I also went through a similar situation as you for just on 25 years before finally giving up and separating though partly because of financial matters. Since being separated I have been with a few different women and studied quite a bit of dating/sexual advice and techniques and have learnt 2 things.

Firstly one of the main reasons for limiting sex is that it is a power thing for them and by withholding it they can control the situation which is why they never seem happy, if they are happy then it means that you have won. In many situations in marriage they have traditionally been the junior partner and this is one area where they can be dominant which also explains why they will sometimes stray. They do want sex but if they give in too easily to their husband then they lose their bargaining position but this doesn't apply if they do it with other men. Sounds crazy to us but not from a woman's perspective.

The second is that many of us were/are not great lovers. I had very bad PE problems until illness helped alleviate that problem somewhat many years later. I have since studied proper sexual techniques and one night after a torrid session my current partner said "No woman has ever been properly fucked until they have been fucked by you" which made me feel 10 foot tall! The best advice that I can give is for you to go to YouPorn and check out the videos in the instructional tag and in particular "How to Eat Pussy Like a Champion" with Nina Hartley, Ron Jeremy and others. Also the ones by Eros Exotica are very good.

If you can become very good at it your wife will (a) appreciate it very much and hopefully want it more and (b) understand that you are now a desirable option for other women and be more accommodating to stop you from straying. Remember if you wanted to become an Olympic athlete you would train and study hard at your chosen event. Sex is much the same, the better you are it the more rewarding it will be and finally don't be in a hurry, take your time with foreplay (they love massages with music) and make them cum first or together.

[mikee45]

are there women who are forced to fuck their man in marriage?

[cornishman]

Why would anyone stay married to it if there was no sex!! it surely can't be for their stimulating conversation and company!! I'd rather be on my own then put up with that!!

[camoj]

Originally Posted by cornishman

Why would anyone stay married to it if there was no sex!! it surely can't be for their stimulating conversation and company!! I'd rather be on my own then put up with that!!

You can get sex anywhere, or you can do it by yourself.... Neither of these things are true of stimulating conversation or company.

[naaktstel]

@sooty: When women use sex as a power over their men, then it can never be loving each other. At least not on an equal basis.
When mine would do that, the sec would be over and I would not feel committed to her, so in that case I would be feeling allowed to find it elsewhere.

[mikee45]

its the time in the week

you are allowed to fuck her but she let you know she is bored and doesnt have any interest,
so she gave you a quick fuck

[mikee45]

she has to do her duty

[sooty]

Originally Posted by naaktstel

@sooty: When women use sex as a power over their men, then it can never be loving each other. At least not on an equal basis.
When mine would do that, the sec would be over and I would not feel committed to her, so in that case I would be feeling allowed to find it elsewhere.

You are right it was not loving on an equal basis and one time she did in fact say that if sex was important to me then I should find someone else to do it with. Now this would seem to be the green light to go for it but it was not that simple. At the time I had been involved for a little while with a pentacostal church so she knew she had me in an awkward position. I was faced with no sex in marriage but if I went elsewhere then I was breaking one of the 10 Commandments so had a problem there plus my daughters were about 16 and 11 at the time and I didn't want to do anything that might cause them problems in later life.

Our finances were very tight so divorce would have been difficult for both of us so I held on until the girls were 21 and 16 by which time I had become quite ill and money was worse so maybe separating earlier would have been better? These are the sorts of conditions that cause many couples to stay together when in reality they would prefer to separate and amongst my circle of contacts I can name a few couples like this.

[mikee45]

you have to use youre imagination when she don't show interest