April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread

[osreb]

My new doctor
I went to the doctor’s office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out .”

I said, “My wife thinks my dick tastes funny…”

[osreb]

April fools- pic1

[osreb]

jokes & pics

[sooty]

Enjoy

[dazman1975]

Originally Posted by sooty

Q. What's got 100 legs and 4 teeth?
A. The front row of the Collingwood cheer squad (Insert any team noted for it's yobbo supporters)


During my prostate exam I asked my doctor where I should put my pants. "Over there beside mine" was NOT the answer I was expecting.

Hi

I don't suppose you have anymore pictures of this little beauty also do you know the story behind this picture?

Cheers

Daz

[sooty]

Originally Posted by dazman1975

Hi

I don't suppose you have anymore pictures of this little beauty also do you know the story behind this picture?

Cheers

Daz

Sorry, don't have any other pictures or know the story behind the photo.

[sooty]

Some more that made me smile

[yellow_fever_01]

Purpose of experiment: To test whether high calorie donuts really do go directly to the posterior.

Photograph 1: Control group.

[osreb]

Husband went to the police station to report that his wife was missing..

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. About five-feet four.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Colour of eyes?

Husband: Never really noticed, brown or green.

Sergeant: Colour of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.

Sergeant: What was she wearing?

Husband: Usually a skirt or slacks and a blouse or polo top. I don’t remember exactly.

Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She took my sports coupe.

Sergeant: What kind of sports coupe was it?

Husband: Jaguar F Type R Coupe, Stratus Grey, Carbon Ceramic brakes, black on black full leather upholstery, 770 Meridian stereo, carbon fibre trim, Electrically Adjustable R Sport Seats with 3 setting memory, unmarked 20" diamond and black gyrodyne wheels, Tyre Pressure Monitoring, Panoramic Glass Roof, Bluetooth Telephone Connectivity, Multi-Media Interface for MP3, Ipod etc, Leather Trimmed Multi-Function Steering Wheel with Paddle Shift, Front and Rear Parking Sensors, blind spot monitoring, Speed Limit Assist, electrically adjustable folding door mirrors, Electrically Adjustable Steering Column, LED Daytime Running Lights, Cruise Control, ...

At this point the husband starts choking up.....

Sergeant: Don’t worry, Sir. We’ll find your car..

[yellow_fever_01]

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