April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread - Page 150

osreb · #**1491** 12-15-2015, 09:14 PM

One day on Lucky Hole #13, Murphy finally makes his first
hole-in-one.

Immediately, a leprechaun leaps into view and congratulates him.

The leprechaun says, "For this hole-in-one, I will grant ye'
one wish."

The Irishman replies, "Can ye' make me pecker a wee bit
longer."

"Done" says the leprechaun.

By the 14th hole the Murphy can tell something is happening.

By 15 it is noticeably different and beginning to strain his
shorts.

By 16 it is now becoming uncomfortable.

By 17 it now hangs just below the leg of his shorts.

By 18 it is now dragging on the ground.

After completing his round the Irishman drags himself to the pro
shop.

He explains what has happened to the golf pro and asks what can be
done.

The golf pro tells him he must make another hole-in-one on 13 to
get the leprechaun back.

The Irishman takes two buckets of range balls to 13 and begins
hitting.

After nearly both buckets are gone he finally makes another
hole-in-one.

The leprechaun springs into view and congratulates him.

The leprechaun says, "For this hole-in-one, I will grant ye'
one wish."

The Irishman replies, "Can ye' make me legs a wee bit
longer."

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sooty · #**1492** 12-24-2015, 06:33 PM

Husband and Wife Christmas Shopping
A couple were in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on the mobile.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up�
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the tackle store next door to that."

osreb · #**1493** 12-25-2015, 07:07 AM

4 stages of a man's life

1. I believe in Santa Claus

2. I don't believe in Santa Claus

3. I am Santa Claus

4. I look like Santa Claus

osreb · #**1494** 01-09-2016, 08:20 AM

had my knee replaced last week.....

sooty · #**1495** 01-11-2016, 08:10 PM

Q: Why do New Zealanders chase their sheep up to the cliff edge?
A: Because they push back harder.

sooty · #**1496** 02-16-2016, 06:59 AM

Hope you enjoy them

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osreb · #**1497** 02-17-2016, 08:05 AM

jokes & pics thread

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sooty · #**1498** 03-10-2016, 04:38 PM

Dave was given the sack from his job at the suicide help line. His mate Fred asked why and Dave replied "I don't know I just got this call from this guy who sounded foreign and said he'd tied himself to the railways tracks and an express was due in a few minutes and as I was trained to do I said Now Mahommed keep calm and stay on the line."

sooty · #**1499** 03-24-2016, 08:43 AM

Q. What's got 100 legs and 4 teeth?
A. The front row of the Collingwood cheer squad (Insert any team noted for it's yobbo supporters)

During my prostate exam I asked my doctor where I should put my pants. "Over there beside mine" was NOT the answer I was expecting.

osreb · #**1500** 03-24-2016, 09:00 AM

click on pic 1

don't you just hate it when that happens!

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