April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread

[Swimashore]

A Taff and a Paddy come out of the pub late at night and see a sheep with its head stuck in the railings. "Taff says, "we can't miss an opportunity like that," drops his trousers and shags the sheep.
Then he says, "OK, it's your turn now."
The Irishman drops his trousers then sticks his head in the railings.

[osreb]

sex application

[Swimashore]

What's the quickest way to get off the Costa Concordia? - Follow the captain.

They're serving a new cocktain on Costa lines called "the Concordia. - It's served on the rocks.

All the same, I wouldn't mind being washed up with one of these..........

[Adam013]

my contributions

[osreb]

What do Lionel trains and boobs have in common....?



They were both originally made for kids, but dads end up playing with them!

[osreb]

Pic one should read:

Thanks to One Click Chicks

[osreb]

Just a Texas story


A TOUGH OLD COWBOY FROM TEXAS COUNSELED HIS GRANDDAUGHTER THAT IF SHE WANTED TO LIVE A LONG LIFE, THE SECRET WAS TO SPRINKLE A PINCH OF GUN POWDER ON HER OATMEAL EVERY MORNING.

THE GRANDDAUGHTER DID THIS RELIGIOUSLY UNTIL THE AGE OF 103, WHEN SHE DIED. SHE LEFT BEHIND 14 CHILDREN, 30 GRANDCHILDREN, 45 GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, 25 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, AND A 40-FOOT HOLE WHERE THE CREMATORIUM USED TO BE.

[osreb]

Gotta love those grand-kids ..

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,

What day is today?"

Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!" ..

She's smart, so I asked her "What does Presidents Day mean?" ..

I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush or Clinton, etc.

She replied, "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the

White House, And if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bull Shit."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

Have A Great Day

[sooty]

This is probably a repost so apologies if it is but I hadn't heard it before
A man and his wife went to the doctor and he said to the doctor "Can you help me Doc with my erection problems? I just can't seem to get a hard on anymore even when she walks around naked and she is getting very frustrated." So the doctor tells the guy to leave the room and says to the wife "Ok, take off all your clothes and walk around the room a few times." She does this and then he tells her to put her clothes on and go to the waiting room and send her husband in. She does this and when the guy returns the doctor says "I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I had her walk around here naked a few times and I couldn't get a hard on either"

I don't have any pictures to post but if you click this link and go to the vid showing the vid with the woman in the yellow bikini you might find it funny (Particularly if you like fishing)

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Pecan...0853?sk=videos

[osreb]

Just heard this one on Storage Wars

A Chinese couple owned a restaurant. On night in heat of passionate love
making the husband whispers in his wife's ear, "I want 69".

The wife looks at him with bewilderment and says;

"you want chicken and broccoli now!!!"