April Fools Month - jokes & pics thread

[Don Jon]

Third from the left.

[ah4fun]

Hillarious

[osreb]

Don Jon got it....

The Blonde is the one with the wrong leg up.

That's OK, I did not pass the test EITHER!

[osreb]

popsicle fun

[sid87]

[Anony]

little Johnny



One day little Johnny's mom was cleaning his room and she found a BDSM magazine in his closest. She hid it until her husband got home. When he walked in, she said look what I found in Johnny's closest, he looked at it for a minute and handed it back to her. After a couple of minutes went by, she asked him what are we going to do, and he said " well I don't think spanking him would be a good idea..........

[osreb]

A lady helps her husband install a new computer.
Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password,
selecting a word that he'll always remember.
As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife
and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye,
he selects a word:

mypenis.


As he hits "enter", to validate the selection, his wife
collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria!!


The computer had replied:

TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!


Always REMEMBER this:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old.

You grow old because you stop laughing.

[osreb]

pic 1...

[osreb]

The Psychiatrist and the Proctologist


Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors. The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids. This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics - no go. Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives - thumbs down again.

Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good. Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again! So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way. Freaks and Cheeks - still no good. Loons and Moons - forget it.
Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.

Everybody loved it.

[Anony]

A blonde goes to a dry cleaners and drops off her clothes. As she's leaving the guy behind the

counter says " come again".

The blonde spins around and yells " No this time it's mustard"

++++++++++++++++++++

Typical setup. a guy walks into a bar, orders a beer. takes a few sips, watches some sports on

the TV, and next time the bartender walks past, the guy catches his attention, and says: "hey

buddy, wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bartender gets pissed. removes his ball cap, showing blonde hair. tosses his bar towel down

in disgust and say to the customer: "look. I'm blonde. see those three guys in the corner? the

big one is an all-star NFL quarterback. the guy in the Armani suit is one of the top civil

attorneys in the nation. the third guy? he's a U.S. congressmen. and we're ALL BLONDES! do you

REALLY want to tell that blonde joke?"

The customer, looking down with embarrassment, and a look of chagrin, nods his head slowly, and

replies: "Nah, I don't want to have to explain it that many times."

++++++++++++++++++++++++

The CEO of a large company is walking down the hallway and sees the blond receptionist standing

at the coke machine putting in quarters and pressing buttons then when the can comes out she

jumps up and down and starts screaming and clapping her hands. This goes on for ten minutes or

so and the CEO leaves, coming back an hour later he finds the blond still at the coke machine

and hundreds of cans of coke lined up on the table she is still putting in quarters and jumping

up and down clapping her hands and screaming when the cans come out.

The CEO walks over and says "Ms. Jones what ever are you doing??"

She turns and says: WINNING, DUHHHH



++++++++++++++++++++++++++