Wife refusing to perform certain sexual acts

[hulktherockstar]

When you guys know that before marrying you, your wife did certain sexual acts like giving a blowjob or anal with another man. But after she got married to you, now refuses to do that and is just interested in missionary sex. Anything else other than missionary is only on special occasions and that too if you had been a "Good Boy", How do you guys deal with that?

Knowing she had a wild side to her and tried every position and different sexual acts with another man who just used and dumped her and then you who married her gets vanilla sex.

Is it a good thing that she so comfortable with you that she doesn't has to now do anything to make you feel special. Whereas the man who was not giving her the ring got amazing sex for years from the same girl. Or it is just that she thinks that you are a loser and the one she had to settle for as she couldn't get the casanova she wanted.

I would like to hear some experiences from married men who have gone through this and how did they deal with it? Did the sex ever got better? Is there anyway around it?

I have never been married so would like to get your perspective on this. Some of you may even have experiences where once you gave her the ring she was not as sexually adventurous as when she was as a girlfriend, please share.

[OPD940B]

Have been together now for 38 years, just celebrated our 30th anniversary.
While anal is now a rare occurrence, she is as kinky as ever if not more so.
A little more self-conscious about her body, but she is still rockin'.

[LBnJB]

My wife has always been very experimental, and over the years we have done nearly everything. We have been married for 30+ years, and we have indulged each others fantasies. When we first met, she was WAY more experienced than I was. I had been with 10 different women, while she had been with over 80 men. Despite the numbers, he sexual experience was limited to traditional sex and oral. We have learned she loves using toys, especially very large toys as she enjoys huge penetration. She loves being tied up, paddled/spanked, choked, vaginal fisting, and anal. She especially loves anal. All of these things we did together for the first time.

In our early 40s we began the "hotwife" lifestyle. I love watching her with other men, and she loves the attention of multiple partners. With that said, there have been a few things she did with another man for the first time, and not with me.

The first time she ever rimmed an asshole was with a guy she picked up in a bar. He was actually the first man I had shared her with. During the course of the evening she was sucking his cock when he asked her to rim him. Without hesitation, she buried her tongue into his asshole. Since then, she has done this with other men and will even do it to me occasionally.

Another guy she had been "dating" for about a month went ass-to-mouth on her. She was on her back with her legs spread, and his cock buried deep in her asshole. He told her to get on her hands and knees so he could do her from behind. As she changed position, she came face to cock with his dick. He grabbed her head and without hesitation she took his cock in her mouth. Since then, she has gone ass-to-mouth with a few other men, but only if they initiate it. She refuses to do this with me.

One night she picked up a traveling business man at the Marriott hotel bar mid-week. We went to his room, and I gave him the typical rules; if she says stop, you stop. If she says no, then no, etc. She always lets them know she loves anal, and that she is willing to try most anything, just ask. Well, this particular guy asked if he could pee on her. To my surprise, she said yes. After a bit of foreplay (kissing, undressing each other, and sucking his cock), he led her to the bathroom, put her in the tub, and began pissing on her. He started peeing on her tits, but then aimed it at her face. As he did this he she opened her mouth. Even more surprising for me was that she actually swallowed gulps of his piss. To this day, he is the only man to ever pee on my wife. Again, this is something she refuses to do with me. But I am okay with this, as this does not turn me on.

We have talked about why she does these things with other men, and not with me. The best explanation she can give is that she has always been a "pleaser" with other men. I was the first man she felt comfortable enough with to explore what SHE wanted.

[Duran Duran]

So the OP is not about the person who posted the OP??? Okay. OP, you worried that is going to happen to you?

I haven't been in this scenario, but I imagine that you need to make your wife see you sexually again. Dress well, live well, take care of yourself. Why should she care, if you don't. Do well at your job, show strength and leadership. Be good at something that's not too geeky, but be low-key about it. Don't make rash decisions, don't get angry. Try and understand her.

Sometimes, make her a little jealous. Let her see that other women are interested in you in subtle ways. I've always found that women react well when other women show you attention. Even women who you aren't sexually active with can be jealous of other women with you. I've seen this too many times to know that it's true. One thing I've learned over the years is that a man needs to try and understand what type of relationship a woman is actually having with him. Sometimes they are playing out a relationship with you in their minds and you are totally unaware of what is going on.

[kajuk]

Originally Posted by hulktherockstar

When you guys know that before marrying you, your wife did certain sexual acts like giving a blowjob or anal with another man. But after she got married to you, now refuses to do that and is just interested in missionary sex. Anything else other than missionary is only on special occasions and that too if you had been a "Good Boy", How do you guys deal with that?

Knowing she had a wild side to her and tried every position and different sexual acts with another man who just used and dumped her and then you who married her gets vanilla sex.

Is it a good thing that she so comfortable with you that she doesn't has to now do anything to make you feel special. Whereas the man who was not giving her the ring got amazing sex for years from the same girl. Or it is just that she thinks that you are a loser and the one she had to settle for as she couldn't get the casanova she wanted.

I would like to hear some experiences from married men who have gone through this and how did they deal with it? Did the sex ever got better? Is there anyway around it?

I have never been married so would like to get your perspective on this. Some of you may even have experiences where once you gave her the ring she was not as sexually adventurous as when she was as a girlfriend, please share.

I have been in your position. My first marriage was very similar. Even though she was kind of wild in the beginning it didn’t take long after our wedding she started acting like she didn’t like sex. Even more so after the birth of our child. I just thought that was normal back then; Not knowing there was another side to the story. But soon after she just left
(which is another story. I never abused her in any kind of way. But again that was another story.

After the divorce I lived as a single man and I was getting sex like crazy. Two or three different women per week. Sometimes two or three women in the bed with me at the same time. I was living the dream, sexually. 15 years later I got married again. My new wife and I did not have sex on our wedding night, nor during our whole honeymoon. In fact, we did not have sex for the first six weeks of our marriage. Not because I wasn’t trying, she just acted like she was not in the mood. Though before our wedding she rimmed me, we practiced anal often. She would give me blowjobs to completion without me even asking. She even brought home a chick she worked with and we had a threesome. But after the wedding, N O T H I N G!!! That marriage only lasted 9 months. She was seeing several other men and having sex with them, just not me. So, we got a divorce.

After the divorce I was back to my old ways. I was getting sex left and right. I was meeting several women at a time and having threesomes (ffm, fmf, one foursome mfff) and getting wild sex from all of the women. I was living the sexual dream again. Then Like a fool I got married again. About a year after our wedding the sex disappeared. I am no dummy. I know that if you want sex at night start your foreplay in the morning. I tried to be romantic. I read books on how to revive your sex life with your wife. I took good care of myself. I was in the gym 5-6 days per week. I was muscled up looking like Rocky. I talked to her about it. We went to counseling. I think the counseling just made things worse. The sex just got to the point of non-existent. There were several women trying to get me to have an affair with them behind my wife’s back and I didn’t do it. I stayed true. The marriage lasted about 7 years and it just got to the point that I did not have sex the last year of our marriage.

As soon as we split up the sex game was back on again. People often ask me if I will ever get married again. (at least once a week or more) My answer is the same to all of them. “I will not get married again because I do not want to go back to not having sex.”
As for how did I deal with it? I just went without sex. Jacked off a lot and talked to my buddies that bragged about their wonderful sexlife.

[kajuk]

Originally Posted by SyFoster

Kajuk, great post. Although never married, I have been in long-term committed relationships; and my experience lines up with yours. I understand.
One woman I was with for a few years-At the beginning, the sex was average/normal. After a year or so, she had zero interest in it. And when we did do it, she just laid there, zero input or involvement.
Another woman, for the first two years or so, the sex was mind blowing and constant. She was hot, gorgeous. Then, as time went on, she just gradually lost interest and it became a once-a-month type thing. And when we did do it, she just wanted a quick in and out, 5 or 10 minutes at the most. No oral, little kissing, just missionary position. She was still physically dynamite, so that really sucked being around a perfect female body, beautiful face, and little access to it. Nothing else had changed. Every other part of our relationship was fine. She was the most sexually talented woman I’d been with. It was like if Michael Jordan had played for one season, and then decided to never play basketball again. Such a waste! She and I went over a year without any sexual contact at all, and she didn’t miss it one bit. Yep, sounds just like what I went through.

I think the overall moral and consensus is that most likely, whatever level the sex starts at when you first begin having it, once the months and years start rolling by, she’s going to do less (like no blowjobs) and the frequency will be majorly diminished. And while this is mostly a female phenomenon, it doesn’t just apply to women. I knew a woman who had been married for about 5 years. Her relationship with her husband was great, but the guy had zero interest in sex, or her body. When they started dating and first got married, the sex was fine/normal. But after a year or so, he never initiated it or even brought it up. If she wanted to have sex, it was basically up to her to come into the room naked and make it happen. And even then, he wasn’t really into it. If she ever tried to fuck him more than once every few weeks, he would complain that his ‘dick hurt’ and he didn’t want to do it. My best friend is going through this right now as we speak. But for him and his wife it is actually both of them. He tells me they have not had sex in the past 4 years. Partly because he lost interest because of stress and she lost interest from depression. but now he wants sex but she will not hear of it. So I invite him to my house from time to time and my old lady gives him sex or a blowjob. Because that's what friends do; right? lol

I don’t think anyone expects sex to stay exactly the way it is at the very start of a relationship. But experience has shown that as years go by, it becomes something that doesn’t even resemble what it once was.

Yes, I understand it really is a much more complicated thing with such things as stress, health and complicated relationships. I can fully understand how things are different at the beginning of a relationship as apposed to years into one. But I really feel if she really cred she would at least spread her legs for you while you jacked off. or visa versa for the woman. There have been times When a woman I was with at the time will be drunk and pawing all over me and it was more irritating than sexy and I turned them down. But Hell, I gave them a good boning the next day not a year later. lol

This thread was started with the question what did we do about it when our marriage (relationship) turned sexless or less interesting. I for one do not have an answer. My best friend cheats. It turns out he has had some really interesting stories for me that I really enjoy hearing. I chose not to cheat when I was married. Looking back I sometimes wish I had because the marriage ultimately failed. but hind sight is 20/20

[GRITS]

DUH.........DUMP FOR FOR SOMEONE ELSE.........

[Hornyinde]

Been married 33 years. Like many marriages, we had lots of sex the first few years, then it slowed a bit while raising kids and pursuing career success. Even so, she never stopped doing things she did before, maybe just not as often due to other pressures, time, energy.

Now that we are recent empty nesters, the level has amped back up. She’s mid-50’s but has the drive higher than in her 20’s. She’s opening up to fantasies and wanting to experiment. Nude beaches are now something she likes to do. She’s gone out wearing no panties or bra with loose summer dresses. She still loves performing oral, unlike what many of my friends say about their wives.

The one thing she’s never done is anal play. Not just anal intercourse, she won’t let me put a finger or vibe in it. I’ve snuck a few licks while eating pussy, but that’s it. On balance, I’m not complaining. She’s been a very sexy partner and if no anal is it, that’s great for me.

[1michael]

just like you said, after being married for a long time much of the Sexual play did fizzle out plenty!
I think during those early years we did almost everything and many times a day too!
There was a few things my wife didn't do as Anal, but I could still finger her there and lick it as much as I wanted!
Later after our daughter went away to College for 4 nice long years, that when we both talked about doing something different to put some Spice back into our married life!
When both of Us talked about an interest in sharing some Adult pleasures with others, it took me by surprise cause I never had a GF yet alone a wife that wanted to try some cock from another guy, but as long as I was able to do the same and enjoy a strange pussy - it was going to be Ok with me too!
It was during our sharing period that maybe both of Us picked up Ideas and Improved on our sexual skills too!
My wife was Ok at doing oral or at least for going up & down on a cock, but she was the 1st to let me CUM in her mouth and would swallow it! Later at some Adult party's she seen how other women Oral on a cock and worked on all of it like licking the shaft / Balls and including some ass play too!
Then my wife picked up that Skill and made improvements!
Having the ability to branch out with others you get to learn more and make improvements or adjustments in your SEX life! I was even Surprised to find out that some wife's either never did oral on their hubby's cock, or just stopped after awhile!
We're able to see and watch as others do their thing and decide if we want to try it out or pass?
We have passed on plenty of things as Pain play and water sports too!
But as Hornyinde said, I'm pleased and happy with my wife and I would just advise you to give her more time and even talk about different sexual pleasures so she'll know!
After a chain of some Events, my wife went and did her 1st anal with our neighbor and I was glad that at least it was a start for her! For some reason my wife was always worried about getting her asshole stretched out and having it stay in that condition than nobody would want to look at it!
She found out that even having a huge BBC stuffed in it, the shape would come back and she enjoyed some of that action while on a Cruise vacation and staying at this Adult Resort.
Seems like the Local guys that live there and walk the clothing optional Beach's with those huge cocks hanging out and still not in a hard erection are picked Up or make advances on all the White Tourist women / wife's!
Wish I could live there and get FREE pussy all the time and never see them again when their vacation was over! lol
Hope others have a similar type of adventure too!

[DJS1985]

Originally Posted by hulktherockstar

When you guys know that before marrying you, your wife did certain sexual acts like giving a blowjob or anal with another man. But after she got married to you, now refuses to do that and is just interested in missionary sex. Anything else other than missionary is only on special occasions and that too if you had been a "Good Boy", How do you guys deal with that?

Knowing she had a wild side to her and tried every position and different sexual acts with another man who just used and dumped her and then you who married her gets vanilla sex.

Is it a good thing that she so comfortable with you that she doesn't has to now do anything to make you feel special. Whereas the man who was not giving her the ring got amazing sex for years from the same girl. Or it is just that she thinks that you are a loser and the one she had to settle for as she couldn't get the casanova she wanted.

I would like to hear some experiences from married men who have gone through this and how did they deal with it? Did the sex ever got better? Is there anyway around it?

I have never been married so would like to get your perspective on this. Some of you may even have experiences where once you gave her the ring she was not as sexually adventurous as when she was as a girlfriend, please share.

Before we got married mine would suck and fuck the hell out of my cock anytime anywhere, she even let me have her in the ass a couple of times. A few years or so after we were married the sex started to become less, she won’t suck my cock at all now nor let me anywhere near her ass with my cock. If she even lets me play with her tits now it’s a lucky thing. We now hardly fuck at all except for once a great while, even then it’s usually a real quick hurry up and get it over with except on some occasions. As for how I handle it, that’s what amateur adult sites like this are for lol. I figure it’s a lot better than actually going out and cheating for real on her, plus there is no rejection etc. My wife doesn’t cheat, she has just got real stingy over time about sex.