The Great Bride Thread

[osreb]

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60 perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."

[buffermister]

hope u like.

[buffermister]

and another

[osreb]

A man has six children & is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home & wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, 'Father of Four!'"

[mcubed]

Hope this aren't too tame for this thread?

[hereyago]

Some brides

[osreb]

Sorry that these are not chick pics; but I found then quite funny and wanted to share with OCC.

Hope they give you a laugh too.

Osreb

[buffermister]

drop me a mail if you want to try and share links

[JohnjayAZ]

Nice soft ones

[osreb]

A college football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn't possibly handle all of them. So one day, after practice, the coach asked Bubba, "Just what the hell is your secret with the women?"

So Bubba replies, "Well, Coach, whenever I'm about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw 'em forever!"

The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom. He heard his wife in the shower. Seeing a window of opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging it on the dresser.

His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said, "Is that you Bubba?"