I love you, funny face!

[wildfire54]

When things don't go quite as planned.

1.It would have been even more exciting if the fire alarm hadn't gone off a few seconds later.

2."Oh,fuck.That was husband we just passed!"

3.Zoey then realized she'd fallen for the old invisible car scam.

4.Initially the Police Officer only stopped her for not wearing a seat belt.

[mamba149]

One billion dollars!

[Ghost In Oblivion]

Different women react differently to The Boogie Man and other monsters in their homes.

1. Jill tells all monsters to kiss her ass.
2. Carolina pretends to be all scared and vulnerable, but she'd wear out any monster who was after her pussy.
3. If you close your eyes and say "Fuck you! You're not real!" Most monsters will go away. But some cum and go.
4. Dave isn't really a monster, and the Anderson twins aren't really scared. It works good for both parties.
5. Darcy thinks her father's money will buy her out of any situation. However, most monsters have no place to spend money. Uh oh.
6. She thinks it's the Boogie Man...but it's really Ted from next door.
7. Jacquie got too close to a horrible one eyed trouser snake.
8. Monsters haven't got a chance with Kelly.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. One out of ten women suffer from TP Confusion Syndrome. Plesee send money to me...and I'll try to wipe out this terrible disease in our lifetime. Really. I will. I promise. Just send money. Now.
2. Like a bat out of hell!
3.Hey guys...do you need any more incentive? Water conservation is so important. Shower with a friend...or two.
4.Some voyeurs use peepholes. George actually lives in a bathroom mirror.
5. Reminds me of an old Disney animated movie...kinda.
6.Now this is MY kind of summer outdoor gathering.
7.OK it's sort of like basketball because there's five to a team...wait a minute...this is NOTHING like basketball!
8. Because there isn't enough sex and violence on TV, Fox's new drama "GUNFUCKERS" is going to debut this fall.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Revealed at last...the Alien's secret coed cloning facility!
2. Daaaaaam!
3. It's legal everywhere now ladies...come out of that closet!
4. Yeah...it's pretty damned hot in Key West this time of year.
5. People tell me all the time that if I knew how mushrooms were grown I wouldn't eat them. I'm not so sure...
6. While not "The Most Interesting Man In The World, " Dave doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he loses all inhibitions...
"Stay horny, my friends."
7. Distracted driving kills thousands on America's highways every year...but some die happy.
8. My wife! My best friend! I knew it!!!
9. And you thought Hell wasn't a pleasant place!
10. Sometimes the dreams of the everyday housewife DO come true!

[Ghost In Oblivion]

Sweet ass. Goofy looks.

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. Before all the gadgets the only thing that came in James Bond's car was her.
2. No bull...this looks like an udder disaster.
3. Speaking of bull...these women are ready to shovel and the panties are down because they're fucked no matter what they try to do.
4. It used to be a lot harder to communicate with astronauts.
5. Toy Story...the X rated version...without Tom Hanks.
6. The dreams of the everyday lesbian do come true.
7. So do the dreams of Billy Bob, his brother Lester and cousin Milt.
8. Sometimes you don't need a dream to come true. You just need a place to pee after a long day of streaking.
9. Another blind taste test from a suspect marketing company. She thinks she's trying to tell the difference between Ballpark Franks and Hebrew Nationals. The marketers have something better in mind.
10. "Melissa! Come away from the window and stop teasing the walking dead!"

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "Yes, you're probably wondering why I invited the two of you here. I want you to look at our tits. " (Mental illness isn't funny...really)
2. It's an unfair world when little Prudence has to get herself off in her lonely room...
3. ...while Lucretia can't swallow all the cum she gets in her mouth in one evening!
4" Ram me! Oh, God! RAM ME!" (Careful what you ask for...or never have sex with a literal magician.)

[Ghost In Oblivion]

1. "Now I'm only going to ask you more time...where did my other sock go?" (Dave's "Master" act was lacking something)
2."My boyfriend makes my pussy wet. I sure hope this can dry it!" ( Young women are...uh...uncomplicated)
3. The Packers didn't make it to the Super Bowl...but apparently their quarterback didn't mind so much.
4. Sheila thinks dating a geologist is...interesting.
5. "Damn...having a bondage threesome fantasy is tough when one of the dildos pops out!" (Don't just sit there...help her!)
6. Jill is a Homer-sexual...doh!
7. Now a good detective will notice three empty glasses and three people getting down and dirty. Apparently the photographer isn't very thirsty. Perhaps he's the designated pornographer.
8. Is giving head really this much fun? I don't want to know!
9. It's tough to be flying through the air in the olympics with millions of people watching...and suddenly having to sneeze.
10. "Stay like this ladies...and the damned paparazzi won't be able to take close ups of our beautiful athletic asses...""

[wildfire54]

1.When John walked into the bedroom.He finally found out just what his wife would do for a Klondike Bar.

2.Even Monica's boss thought she took 'Casual Friday' way to literately.

3. Bill had his own way of supporting the troops.His wife had hers.

4. "Yes,Officer.He was looking right through this hole in the fen....What are you staring at?"