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#2751
07-18-2013, 12:43 AM
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I was asking a friend if he would call me away for an "emergency" and then I would not have to go. That's when he explained to me that if I went this time, and sufficiently embarrassed myself, she probably would not make me go again. Did I mention what a genius he truly is?
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#2752
07-18-2013, 12:47 AM
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Thus I found myself standing at the microphone wearing an overcoat with a pillow stuffed underneath and the track for Heartbreak hotel ready to roll.
"just a little song for the little lady of mine.." I began
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#2753
07-18-2013, 12:49 AM
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Well, my baby left me
Said I was too fat Shoved out the garage door In my raincoat and hat I got the jelly The too big a belly The gummy bear butt blues
__________________
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#2754
07-18-2013, 12:51 AM
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I went to the all you can eat
Stayed till they were closed Finally someone walked up my chins And punched me in the nose I got the jelly The too big a belly The gummy bear butt blues
__________________
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#2755
07-18-2013, 12:52 AM
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I thought I knew good lovin,
Till I got on top Then I found my lovin Was just a belly flop I got the jelly The too big a belly The gummy bear butt blues
__________________
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#2756
07-18-2013, 12:54 AM
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I used to be the leanest
Guy you’ve ever seen Now small children use me Like a trampoline I got the jelly The too big a belly The gummy bear butt blues
__________________
keeping a good woman happy is not being henpecked, it is investing in your future
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#2757
07-18-2013, 12:56 AM
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If your cracking concrete
And bending wooden floors And have to keep the Crisco out To fit threw the doors You’ve got the jelly The too big a belly The gummy bear butt blues You mean twinkies can be frozen?..oh man!!!
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#2758
07-18-2013, 01:01 AM
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As I stepped away, took off the outfit, and looked to see if my wife had crawled under the table, I found out one universal truth. Drunk people laugh at the stupidest things in life. The more drunk they are, the more stupid it is, the more they love it. This totally backfired, they loved it.
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#2759
07-18-2013, 01:08 AM
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The rest of the night was spent listening to people make up their own lyrics to songs. Ina degada devita turned into in the garden I'm weeding, born in the USA turned into horny and still waiting, and don't stand so close to me became the story of two men at a urinal ( your dripping..on my shoe..at least you could hit the bowl..oh look there ..you can use.. that open stall) It was horrible.
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#2760
07-18-2013, 01:12 AM
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In fact, as it ended, everyone was going home and thinking up lyrics for the next event..UUUUURGG
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