The Great Bride Thread

[osreb]

The Wedding Test .. !!


I was a very happy man ... my girlfriend and I were going to be married ....


But, there was one thing bothering me .. her beautiful full figured younger sister . !
She was twenty-two ... always wore tight miniskirts and generally was bra-less ..


She would always bend down when she was near me ... to give me a great view of those luscious tits .. !!
.... it had to be deliberate ... because she never did it when anyone was around.


One day, she called and ask that I come over to check wedding invitations ..


She was alone when I arrived, and after a few minutes told me that her sister was a lucky gal to marry a big hunk like me .. !! .. then admitted that she had strong feelings and desire for me.


She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed to her sister .. !!


Well, I was in total shock .. and couldn't say a word ... !


She said "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last fling, just come up and join me"


I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her climb the stairs ...
... and, making up my mind, I made a beeline towards the door and my car parked in the driveway ...


Lord and behold .. my future in-laws were all standing and applauding ..


With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said "We are very happy that you have passd this test.
We couldn't ask for a better man to wed our daughter .. Welcome to the family"


.... And the moral of the story is:


... Always keep your condoms in your car ...

[altaccount2000]

one.

[gilde03]

Originally Posted by osreb

GIRLS REACTION TO PENIS SIZES
9 INCHES - Oh Shit, pain!!
8 INCHES - d5qx is in da house
7 INCHES - Oh, I'm in heaven
6 INCHES - OH PERFECT
5 INCHES - UMMMM OK
4 INCHES - PUSH MORE
3 INCHES - IS THAT IN???
2 INCHES - IDIOT!! JUST USE YOUR TONGUE!!

nice thread

[osreb]

..Brides

Click this link for a good laugh on Thanksgiving Day

Tim Hawkins: Things you never say to your wife


http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=3Ok68w_xm_0

[andyadc]

Getting ready shots...

[osreb]

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

[osreb]

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter--haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

[osreb]

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P. Niss




The Response

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts..
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,

V. Gina

[osreb]

A WOMAN'S PRAYER:


Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to
"how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very
best friend.




A MAN'S PRAYER:


I pray for a deaf-mute gymnist nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a
bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.



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[Speedster44]

asasas