my favs

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some of the worst movies ever made
Robot Monster (1953) United States

A science fiction film, originally shot and exhibited in 3D, featuring an actor dressed in a gorilla suit and what looks almost like a diving helmet. The film, produced and directed by Phil Tucker, is listed in Michael Sauter's book The Worst Movies of All Time among "The Baddest of the Bs" and also has a 31% rotten rating on review website Rotten Tomatoes. It is also featured in The Book of Lists 10 worst movie list, in The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. The Golden Turkey Awards confers on its main character the title of "Most Ridiculous Monster in Screen History" and, listing director Tucker among the runners-up to "Worst Director of All Time" (the winner being Ed Wood), states that "What made Robot Monster ineffably worse than any other low-budget sci-fi epic was its bizarre artistic pretension". Noted film composer Elmer Bernstein wrote the score for this film. It was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000,[6] and was fondly remembered by author Stephen King who quotes, and agrees with, a review in Castle of Frankenstein magazine ("certainly among the finest terrible movies ever made", "one of the most laughable poverty row quickies").[7]

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The Conqueror (1956) United States

A Howard Hughes-funded epic film featuring American actor John Wayne as Mongolian chieftain Genghis Khan and the redheaded Susan Hayward as a Tatar princess. The movie was filmed near St. George, Utah, downwind from a nuclear testing range in Nevada, and is often blamed for the cancer deaths of many of the cast and crew, including Hayward, Wayne, Agnes Moorehead, Pedro Armendáriz, and director Dick Powell.The film made the 10-worst list in The Book of Lists, appears in Michael Sauter's book The Worst Movies of All Time, and was one of the films listed in Michael Medved's book The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. Originally written for Marlon Brando, the choice of Wayne for Khan was called by The Guardian "one of the worst casting decisions of all time".

Hughes, one of the richest men at the time, had previously produced the popular dramatic films Hell's Angels, Scarface, and The Outlaw. After seeing The Conqueror himself, Hughes bought every existing print for $12 million and refused to let the film be seen on television until 1974. Reportedly, he felt very guilty over the decision to shoot at such a hazardous site. By 1980, a full 91 of the 220 cast and crew had been diagnosed with cancer. This was the last film that Hughes produced before dying in 1976.

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Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) United States
Plan 9 has been panned for the misrepresentation of Bela Lugosi. Critic John Wirt has dubbed the film "The ultimate cult flick".

Ed Wood's Plan 9 was labeled the "Worst Film Ever" by The Golden Turkey Awards. This movie marked the final appearance of Bela Lugosi. Wood shot only a small amount of test footage featuring his idol Lugosi before the actor's death. This footage, repeated several times, was included in the final movie. Following Lugosi's death, the character was played by Tom Mason, the chiropractor of Wood's wife at the time, who played his scenes holding the character's cape in front of his face. Wood was apparently undeterred by the numerous physical differences – such as height, build and the fact that Mason was nearly bald while Lugosi retained a full head of hair until his death – that distinguished Mason from Lugosi. Years later video distributors such as Avenue One DVD began to make light of this, adding such blurbs as "Almost Starring Bela Lugosi" to the cover art. Numerous critics also pointed out the cheap, hardly believable special effects and kitschy dialogue.

Shot in 1956, the film was not released until 1959 due to difficulty in finding a distributor. It has played at the New Orleans Worst Film Festival. In 1994, Tim Burton directed Ed Wood, which includes some material about the trials and tribulations of making Plan 9. On the popular film review site Rotten Tomatoes, Phil Hall calls it, "Far too entertaining to be considered as the very worst film ever made." Likewise John Wirt goes as far as to call it "The ultimate cult flick", and Videohound's Complete Guide to Cult Flicks and Trash Pics states that, "In fact, the film has become so famous for its own badness that it's now beyond criticism." Ian Berriman of SFX commented about the unintentional comedy, "Some things are best watched at 3am, wrapped in the warm glow of drunkenness... Plan 9 From Outer Space is one of them". Plan 9 was also voted 23rd worst movie ever by RiffTrax in 2012.

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) United States

This holiday staple, a sci-fi adventure, was the creation of Nicholas Webster. When Martian children get to see Santa Claus only on TV signals beamed from Earth, their parents decide to abduct Santa to make them happy. The film was initially criticized for its oddity and poor special effects. Like many others in this category, it has been featured in Mystery Science Theater 3000.[21] The film is cited on a 10-worst list in The Book of Lists, in The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. It is also known for starring a very young Pia Zadora. Mystery Science Theater 3000 featured the film during its third season and Cinematic Titanic (a spin-off of Mystery Science Theater 3000) revisited the film in 2008.

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Howard the Duck (1986) United States
The six actors who gave physical performances as Howard received a Golden Raspberry Award for "Worst New Star". The appearance of Howard was generally seen as being unconvincing.

Produced by George Lucas, Howard the Duck received universally negative reviews from film critics. Orange Coast Magazine writer Marc Weinberg and Leonard Maltin criticized the decision to shoot the film in live action. Maltin described the film as a "hopeless mess ... a gargantuan production which produces a gargantuan headache". The appearance of Howard was criticized as being unconvincing due to his poorly functioning mouth, drunkenness, pervertedness, and expressionless face. Reviewers also criticized the acting and humor and found the film boring. In The Psychotronic Video Guide, Michael Weldon described the reactions to Howard as being inconsistent, and that "It was obviously made in LA and suffers from long, boring chase scenes", but praised the stop-motion special effects in the film's final sequences. Film website Rotten Tomatoes, which compiles reviews from a wide range of critics, gives the film a score of 15% based on 32 reviews, it is the lowest-rated Lucasfilm production. The site's consensus states: "While it has its moments, Howard the Duck suffers from an uneven tone and mediocre performances." The film received seven Golden Raspberry Award nominations in 1987 including Worst Supporting Actor (Tim Robbins), Worst Director and Worst Original Song ("Howard the Duck"). It won four trophies for Worst Screenplay, Worst New Star ("the six guys and gals in the duck suit"), Worst Visual Effects, and Worst Picture, tied with Under the Cherry Moon. The movie won also a Stinkers Bad Movie Awards for Worst Picture. The negative reaction to the film had a difficult effect on the cast, who found themselves unable to work on other projects because of the film.

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Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

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Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

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God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

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The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

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Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the
seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was
out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she
returned.