my favs

[bbgapril]

My way, reaching threw the phone and choking him, but her way was much better.
Putting on her best southern accent she told him how he had left his credit card at the bar and the kind Deputy wanted to return it. All he had to do was stop the car so he could do that and then the deputy could go on his way.
The radio announced "Car 51, he's stopping, I am approaching the vehicle"
She handed the phone back to me and I listened to the following conversation
"Give me my credit card"
"Hands where I can see them. Get out of the car now."
"Where is my ..ouch..hey.. why are you handcuffing me you asshole..."
"Car 51, one in custody"

[bbgapril]

This morning, after the tree fires were put out and the drunks were sleeping it off, we told the Sheriff and the Deputy what we did. They laughed their ass off.
Breakfast was for all the first responders and volunteers who worked last night and their families.

[bbgapril]

Biscuits and gravy, Johns special Scrapple (scrambled eggs with apple, sausage, and fried potatoes), my perked coffee with Rum added for flavor. Each one that was on duty was given a three D cell maglight that was decorated in red white and blue, painted by one of our local folk artist.
I have always found that this flashlight is easier to hit someone with than the four D cell model and it was unique.

[bbgapril]

The thumping of a helicopter was heard across the field and Angel 1 landed next to the Firehouse. it powered down and most of the kids ran over to see the bird. A fight nurse and medic came to the hall while the Pilot stayed there and gave the tour.
I knew right away which one had called me last night asking about the new dispatcher, it was obvious.

[bbgapril]

In his little flight suite and his swagger, he was obviously used to the women being impressed with him. Then I noticed one of his patches, it displayed that he was ex-military. He did get a look at my wife, who was wearing jeans that would cause a car accident, not a dress, and made it his purpose to say hello and compliment her by saying she is as lovely as her voice.
She laughed and said that was what my husband tell me all the time and pointed at me.

[bbgapril]

He came over to apologize in the event I was offended, to which I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down with him to discuss his patch and talk about his years in the service.

[bbgapril]

He had done three tours over a period of four years, all with Air units that went to the front lines and brought the wounded back to field hospitals. His mission officer had been killed when one of the Afghanistan forces had hidden a grenade on himself to blow up the chopper. When the MO searched him and found it before he was placed on the bird, the guy detonated it. This was within the first month that this poor guy was in country.

[bbgapril]

We went on to swap coffee recipes which included boiling water while using clean socks as a filter and ended with a bro hug between two veterans. One thing I learned was that Camel Spiders were edible, but I will pass on that delicacy if you don't mind.

[bbgapril]

I am going to tell you the story of a guy called the "Circus Mouse"

[bbgapril]

While working in the private sector, it was our pleasure to be assigned to France for a month. While we were there, we met this beautiful Israeli reporter. She was absolutely stunning but not interested in me, instead she was interested in one of the guys we nick named Circus Mouse