100 pantyhose pics - part LXXII

[osreb]

pantyhose pics and blond jokes:



This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid.
So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going
to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her
husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
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Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in
a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she if OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove
to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by
painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said....

You'll love this..... Yep, I know you will....

"FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."
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[osreb]

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

[osreb]

When asked by their host if she would like another drink, the attractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said,
"No thank you. My husband limits me to one drink."


"Why is that," the host asked?


Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it; after two drinks ...anyone can!"

[osreb]

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

[osreb]

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

[osreb]

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

[osreb]

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken

[osreb]

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

[osreb]

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?


Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

[osreb]

Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!


Q: What is blond, brunette, blond, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.

Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

Q: What do a moped and a blond have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!

Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.


Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.

Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"