Having to leave the room

[Everard]

Have you ever heard anyone say something totally innocent, but with an unintended meaning to you, and only you? Worse still, did it make you laugh so much you thought you were going to explode, but could not tell the other person why? Perhaps you even had to leave the room because if the other person noticed you laughing, you would have to explain it. These occasions are all the more awkward if there is something sexual behind the meaning. I have a couple of examples of this and here’s the first:

My brother Brian went away to boarding school at the age of 12 as my parents were about to spend 2 years abroad; I was only 4 at the time so went with them. Now our family always talk about ‘boarding school,’ whereas in fact it was an ordinary school, which he attended during the day, but actually lived at a hostel with about a dozen other lads. The old guy running the place retired a few months after he arrived to be replaced by a younger man with two daughters, the elder of which, Brenda, was about 6 months younger than Brian. To cut a long story short, they have now been married for over 40 years.
Now Brenda had a sister, Ellie, 8 years younger; in other words about my age. I used to see her when we went to collect and drop off Brian for holidays, but at that age you don’t notice girls do you? Then B. and B. lost touch for a few years. Next thing we knew they were engaged. Shortly before they married I saw Ellie again. She was now 15 – and bloody HOT!
Naturally I fancied her like there was no tomorrow but she was way out of my league, I pursued her for the next couple of years but she was having none of it, and later married and moved abroad.
Fast forward to a year or two ago. Myself, my mother, Brian and Brenda were talking about washing of all things, and Brenda told a story about Ellie’s younger son. When he was a kid, and Ellie would ask him to peg the washing out on the line, he always wore rubber gloves.
Why?
So that he wouldn’t have to touch his mother’s knickers.
And of course all I could think about was the time when I would happily have given everything I possessed to get hold of those knickers. And had to leave the room.

My next story is much better than that one, but before I post it I’d like to hear a few of yours.

[Everard]

OK as there's been no response, I'll post my other story:


Few years back I met this woman, ten years younger than me, Turkish, tall, dark, absolutely bloody drop dead gorgeous with beautiful pale brown eyes I could willingly lose myself in forever. And a fantastically trim little body, elegantly shown off by a pale yellow blouse, medium length black skirt and high-heeled suede boots. For our first date we went for lunch in a pub, stayed there chatting for ages, and eventually got asked to leave as it was 3 in the afternoon and they wanted to shut. It was a nice hot summer day so we had a walk down the road, during which I got a little bolder and was holding her hand, and by the time we reached the nearby park had an arm round her. We sat on a bench and cuddled but there she drew the line; saying “no kiss today.”
Then I walked her back to her flat, and was unexpectedly invited in. While I went to use the loo she took the opportunity to change and emerged, looking just as sexy as before, in black jeans and a bright green sweater.
While she made coffee we stood in the kitchen, casually chatting … but suddenly she put down the pot, came over to where I was, and gave me the longest, deepest and sexiest kiss I’ve ever had! I went hard as a rock immediately and she was holding me so tightly she must have noticed.
We managed to finish making the coffee somehow and were now sat on her sofa, enjoying more of those massive kisses. My tongue started working lower and when it reached her collarbone she got really excited and didn’t say a word when my hand went inside her loose top to find a hardening nipple. Pretty soon it was both hands, the bra and top were off and she was removing my shirt, so now it was two bare fronts pressing hard together. Then she got on top of me with a leg on either side, even through two lots of clothing I could feel her red-hot pussy grinding into my erection as we dry humped. In fact if we both hadn’t had to leave for work in the evening ... who knows what would have followed.

Anyway the following morning I came downstairs, into the utility room, could hear Mother but only see her feet. She was deep in the freezer looking for today’s dinner. And this is when she uttered the immortal words:













“HAVE YOU SEEN A PAIR OF TURKEY BREASTS?”

[puthan]

Originally Posted by Everard

OK as there's been no response, I'll post my other story:

“HAVE YOU SEEN A PAIR OF TURKEY BREASTS?”

Thanks! I enjoyed that!