Does your wife gives blowjobs regularly?

[hulktherockstar]

I have been dating a girl long distance and we are finally planning to meet. The girl is hot and if everything goes well one day I am planning to marry her. Since we have been talking for a long time we have now been started to get comfortable each other and have been discussing sex.

She told me that there was a guy before me her ex-boyfriend who she used to fuck once a week. The guys was cheating on her with several other girls and she was in rotation on one of the week days. Somehow one girl came to know about this and as she found out details of all the other girls and notified her. He had promised marriage to all of them and was mass dumped by all of the them lol. I am ok with her sexual past with a playboy but when we were discussing and I was asking her sexual preferences, she told me that she doesn't likes oral sex and even to her ex-boyfriend she seldomly gave oral sex mostly it was boring vanilla missionary sex. I don't believe her and know she is lying.

Issue is she is in a way setting up grounds for our future sexual relationship that I should not be expecting any oral sex from her and it is not her thing, she sees me as a future husband. Now in your experiences what have you guys seen, is she just shit testing me? Have anyone able to convince his wife/girlfriend to change her opinion on this? I might need to spend $$$ just to meet her and find out. No BJs are a deal breaker for me as it is the same for me as foreplay is for women. As there are a lot of experienced folks would be nice to know, what you guys think and how many of you get regular BJs?

[adymackie]

I think she is being serious about not wanting to do BJ's. I wouldn't go with her on that principle, unless she is willing to do it with a condom which i would accept, anything less and you're settling for disappointment.

[shnowballs]

In answer to the question at the start of your post: yes!

However, I can shed a bit more light on it. My wife has a group of four very close friends and a few years ago, while away in a hotel for the night, they actually had a drunken chat about blowjobs. She reported back to me, of course. :-)

Of the five of them: my wife was the only one who admitted she loved giving BJs. One of them said she "didn't mind" doing it (my wife thinks this lady actually does like giving them, but was afraid to say it for some reason), two of them said they were meh on BJs, but viewed them as part of foreplay. A "duty" almost. Finally, the fifth wrinkled her nose up and said she hated giving them and her husband was lucky if he got sucked once a year, maybe for their anniversary or his birthday. Poor guy.

Anyway, I don't think these numbers are in any way significant. I'm def not saying "1 in 5 women...." or anything like that. I just find it interesting that these five, who are all the same age and grew up in the same (British) culture, have within their number pretty much every opinion on this issue.

[knightwraith]

Congratulations, you've lured a long time lurker into being a poster with this question.

My wife does, my best friend's wife gives none at all, but that's not what you really want to know. What you want to know is "will she give me regular blowjobs?" and the bad news is that no one on this board or any other can answer that question for sure, only she can and that still leaves the question as to whether she will.

From your story, it sounds like it might be a "shit test" especially if as you say she's "hot" and has been used for sex before, but that's only a guess based on your take (which is understandably biased towards that interpretation already). I also wouldn't gamble on "convincing her" to change her opinion; for every story about a guy who successfully convinced his wife to do something, there are at least a thousand who failed because we generally don't tell those stories.

Best advice I can give is to ask. Personally I'd lay it all out for her. Tell her that blowjobs are a must have for you, that you get the impression they're not something she will do but you're not sure if that's accurate, that since you've only been long distance until now you hope that's evidence enough that it's clearly not just about sex at this point, and that you don't want either of you to be unhappy going forward so some straight answers benefit you both: How does she feel about blowjobs? If she's willing to give them how often does she think is reasonable?

Use your own judgement and adapt to your style/circumstances as necessary of course but if it truly is a deal breaker for you, do your future self a favor and treat it like one instead of like a "nice to have."

Anyway, that's my take do with it as you will. Going back to lurking now.

Best of luck!

[nectcouple]

My wife is another one that loves to give blow jobs and her enthusiasm shows in the awesome job she does BUT...she does not swallow. I am wondering if that might be the issue for your lady.

My wife says my loads are too big for her to handle (they are huge) and that I'll drown her! I know that any time she tries, she ends up gagging, choking and coughing in a most unsexy way, lol, so I'll easily trade off the swallow for the intense pleasure of her BJ and last second hand job! As far as I know, she has never swallowed for her "boyfriend" either but I think that's because she won't do for him what she won't do for me.

Have you asked her if it's sucking a cock in general that she doesn't like or is it just the end result? How about her previous experiences? If former lovers were too rough or just jammed it down her throat, then of course she's going to be turned off to it. You definitely need to have a serious talk with her so that both of you understand the other's feelings.

[shnowballs]

Originally Posted by SyFoster

Let’s assume for our current discussion that she’s telling the truth (it would be odd to lie about such a thing; why say she doesn’t like giving oral sex if she secretly loves doing it?). The next question would be - Why doesn’t she like it? Two major reasons come to mind. 1. She simply doesn’t like it, never has/never will, and is just into basic, go-thru-the-motions sex; or 2. She had a bad experience in the past with blowjobs, and that turned her off to it. Maybe the guy’s dick and balls smelled really bad, maybe he pressured or forced her into giving him blowjobs, etc. If the case is #1, then give up, it just isn’t going to happen. If the case is #2, with the right amount of care, concern, openness, understanding, and discussion, there is the possibility that you could turn her around and get her interested in, and enjoying, sucking dick.

Coming back in for one more post, to agree with SyFoster here on point 2. What might surprise is that my wife, who has loved giving BJs for about 20 years, didn't when we first hooked up. It wasn't any great mind game from me that converted her to liking them. It turned out that her previous BF (only guy she'd fucked before me) was what she called a "leaker". What she meant by that was that he produced (and leaked) a lot of pre-cum, while she was trying to blow him and she didn't like that. By the end of their relationship she had decided she didn't like blowjobs and made him wear a condom whenever she did give him one.

Luckily for me, I don't produce much pre-cum at all, and she gradually changed her mind over the first few months of our relationship. Turned out she liked being able to give pleasure this way, when she wasn't dealing with a steady stream of something she didn't like the taste of.

So, if the reason this lady doesn't like giving BJs is Sy's point 2, then the good news is that it is possible she might change.

[hulktherockstar]

What she told me so far is that she just doesn't likes it, doesn't enjoys giving it. She tried it with her ex. But she does like getting oral sex. I asked if she will be ok with 69 where we can mutually pleasure each other but she said no. She will receive oral sex and enjoy but is not willing to give it back, which I think is selfish.

I also asked if she enjoys me cumming on her various body parts. She was ok with all other places except face, which she said, she finds very disrespectful. I have a feeling somehow she feels that sucking cock is something only sl*ts do. I am not sure if there is a way out of it. Sexually to me it is like what foreplay is to women, makes me hard real quick, like women get wet with foreplay.

My last girlfriend was very good at it and that is what I miss a lot about her sexually. I am also not sure if this is something I should be dumping this girl for if everything else looks good with her and she still refuses to suck at all. Leaves me with a lot of sexual frustration for the entire relationship.

I will try and talk to her as you guys suggested. But what I have understand from conversations so far is that most of the girls don't do it in marriage and only some like doing it out of which mostly are just doing it to please their partners and don't actually like it themselves, so a very few women are out there who actually love it.

[Erii]

I went out with a girl who, while we were in the flirting phase in a bar with a load of my and her mates around, she proudly declared she didn't like beetroot, never had, and ever since one of her friends had told her it tasted a bit like cum she would never even try it. She thought the idea of tasting cum was disgusting and she would never give blow jobs.

A week later we are in bed together for the first time and during some amazing 'vanilla' sex it pulled out my cock and flipped round into a 69 position with me on top, and she calmly took it all in her mouth and sucked me off till I shot my load down her throat. I felt a bit guilty but when I looked at her she was smiling a big smile as she swallowed it all.

Those first few months (tones of relationship honeymoon sex) I probably spent more time with my cock in her mouth than in her pussy. So you never know how it will play out. But, if a girl you have met turns you on, she likes you, and you only ever have a load of "vanilla" sex with that girl because that's what she likes, then life still sounds very very good to me.

[Sonera]

1: tell her u really like BJd
2: fly to meet her, give her the time of her life, test her in bed, ask if shell suck it. She might, in this setting. Make sure you've eaten 'yes foods' so your cum tastes good, and that your dick is clean, and make it a good experience for her.
3: run the relationship and see if you get BJs willingly. If not, and its a must-have, dump her.

[Sonera]

1: tell her u really like BJd
2: fly to meet her, give her the time of her life, test her in bed, ask if shell suck it. She might, in this setting. Make sure you've eaten 'yes foods' so your cum tastes good, and that your dick is clean, and make it a good experience for her.
3: run the relationship and see if you get BJs willingly. If not, and its a must-have, dump her.