I Am Santa

[fitne]

Our spa is inside a mall.

Oh dear, our regular Santa got drunk and was hit by a horse. He's too injured to play Santa this year so I volunteered to step in. This is going to be a lot of fun.

Question: How did he get hit by a horse?
Answer: There was a horse in the Santa Claus parade and the horse hit the drunken Santa.

[fitne]

So, we put out the word that we are looking to hire 6-8 Elves. The response has been overwhelming. The first applicant is Mary.

Me: Welcome
Mary: Thanks. I think being an Elf is a great way to spend my Christmas break from university.

Me: Are you good with kids.
Mary: Absolutely, I have two younger brothers and sisters.

Me: Ok, interview is going great. Next, I have to see you naked to check for tattoos, bruises, scars, etc.
Mary: Sure, no problem.

[fitne]

We have been advised by the mall lawyer that we need a nurse or doctor near the Santa display in case of a medical emergency and we need extra security because of the larger crowd. So, we have to hire a nurse and an extra security guard. This is added to my workload as I am still trying to hire my elves.

We called a nursing agency and they sent over a couple of nurses for us to interview.

The two nurses were Faith and Bella. Faith was the first one to be interviewed.

[fitne]

Then I interviewed Elf candidate Eve.

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I managed to squeeze Nurse Christina.

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Holly is a university student hoping to make some money during Christmas break.

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The mall merchants got together to offer any woman a $500 gift card willing to pose nude wearing only a Santa hat in front of the Christmas tree. Angela took the offer.

[fitne]

Ashton is another university student on Christmas break hoping to make some extra money as an elf.

[fitne]

The agency sent over another nurse candidate named Ashley. I explained to her that the mall policy requires any Elf and nurse candidates to undress so I can see if she has any bruises, tattoos, cuts and/or scars.

[fitne]

The nursing agency called and asked if I could interview one more candidate before I quit for the day. I said I couldn't stay long as I have tickets for the Leaf game to-night.