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Originally Posted by linkvskosmos
In looking at both of them. I have to say I really enjoyed the first story better. My thing that got me really interested was the fact that you focused more on her embarrassment rather than her sexual feelings. My opinion: Emily is still too soon in realizing her sexual fantasies. She like a newbie. I was thinking that maybe she would stay embarrassed and then the Japanese girl would go through her experience and then maybe together they could have that sexual fantasy once they knew that they were feeling the same thing. Don’t know just a thought. But definitely liked the first draft.
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Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I was definitely aware that the second version ended with an entirely different experience for her which is why I kept the original story in a separate thread. I felt the first draft ended too quickly though but I'm glad you liked it.