[tomb125]

April

While Beth detested the snooty Primrose, she appreciated the fact she would make a lot of money on the wedding dress as well as the bridesmaid’s gowns and tuxedos for the groomsmen. She called a local dry cleaner she worked with in the past on big events to assist with preparing the wedding garments. Speaking with Mrs. Jiang was never easy in person, much less over the phone. Beth told her she “needed the best milk white thread for Primrose’s gown” but Mrs. Jiang thought Beth said “white silk thread”. Silk thread is frequently used for dissolving sutures in surgical applications. Moisture and heat cause the thread to break down. Then Beth said “six standard and one special wedding-day tuxedo for the groom”, however, Mrs. Jiang thought she heard “breakaway tuxedo”. Mrs. Jiang, envisioning a comic movie she saw where a man is suddenly stripped of his clothes, replied, “Like in Hollywood?”, and Beth heartily agreed “Yes, yes” not knowing her request was being misinterpreted. This was going to be the biggest embarrassing event in Puttyville history!

Several days later, after Primrose recovered from her near-naked embarrassment at the dress shop, she again became quite exited all her plans were moving rapidly toward fruition. In the evening, she called on Miles to remind him to wear “something borrowed something blue, something old, and something new” to the wedding ceremony this weekend. He needed some help understanding what she was referring to and Prim explained the tradition to him. Miles then again asked about the possibility of having sex before the wedding. Appalled, Prim said to him-as if she were still a virgin, “If you cannot wait, what is the cherry worth?” “Well, what can we do then?” Miles pleaded. “How about I spank you?” queried Primrose. “That would be breathtaking” Miles responded, bending over a coffee table and lowering his shorts and briefs. To say Primrose ‘let him have it’ with a wooden spoon from the kitchen would have been quite an understatement.