Wow, lots of comments about my little story. Thanks, everyone.
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Originally Posted by Adkit
I usually like ENF stories but God damnit that was badly written. There is no way that could ever happen to anyone in the history of ever. x.x
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Damn dude, sounds like my story really killed your boner. Sorry about that. Don't worry, there will be others. (Other boners, and other stories from me, hopefully of the non-boner-killing variety.)
Age regression seems to require a bit more suspension of disbelief than other humiliation-themed stories.
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Originally Posted by Adkit
Erica has to follow along with the idea that she's a little girl because if they realized she was a grownup they'd be very harsh on her and she'd be in trouble.
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I guess you must have given up on Keilani before you read Part 6.
Mind posting the link to the Erica story? I don't think I've read that one yet.
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Originally Posted by cerindclvr
The Keilani story is surprisingly light on the stripping and public nudity, etc
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There are a few ENF scenes sprinkled throughout the story, but that's not really its primary focus. I like to explore a variety of female humiliation in my stories, and age regression makes it easy to feature spanking, being dressed in childish clothes, and teasing at the hands of a younger person.
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Originally Posted by 1234567891011
there's just a million gaping plotholes, firstly can anyone here honestly say they dont know off hand the landline phone number of at least one relative other than parents?
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I'd always pictured Keilani as having no immediate family aside from her parents. That's atypical of Hawaiians in general, but I felt it fit the theme of isolation which is prevalent throughout the entire story. I've been meaning to have Keilani address the issue, but couldn't think of a good way to do it without retrofitting the early chapters (which I don't like to do). This thread actually gave me an idea for that.
The truth is, Keilani's Long Vacation was originally a one-off. Back when I wrote the first chapter I had no idea when, or even if, I would do any follow-up. I'd read a number of age regression stories by other authors, and noticed that they all seemed to end after one or two chapters, with no real sense of closure for the adult-turned-child. I wanted to do something different, provided the interest was there. The Keilani story turned out to be popular enough that I continued it, but there wasn't a lot of planning and backstory set up in the early stages. I pretty much just went with whatever I came up with. Somewhere around chapter 4 I finally sat down and worked out where the story would end and how I would arrive there.
Anyway, that's one gaping plot hole addressed. Can you help me identify the other nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine?
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Originally Posted by 1234567891011
what about addresses, i'm sure by law every effort would have to be made to contact the parents
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Gail and the Sisters have always been making an effort to locate Keilani's parents, but that doesn't change the issue of what do you do with her in the meantime. This will definitely be addressed in the next chapter, it's long overdue.
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Originally Posted by 1234567891011
The other massive problem I have with it is the story is extremely depressive, there's never a ray of hope, moment of revenge for example or at least something up lifting, it's just a constant string of life ruining events and for me it ruins any enjoyment of the story.
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That's a fair criticism, as my trend has always been to slowly erode her old life, and ensure that everything is stacked against her. It's part of the whole humiliation thing. If you have any suggestions for how I might give her a bit of a break without compromising that, let me know. I have used other readers' suggestions before, and while the major beats are pretty much set in stone at this point, there's still some room for an extra scene or two.
Anyway, glad to see there are still people discovering the story. Now to find time to finish Part 7...