Tonight Show With Jay Leno:
The good news: Osama bin Laden is dead. The bad news: there is no bad news.
Osama bin Laden was apparently shot twice in the face. It looks like Dick Cheney may have been involved.
Conan:
Osama bin Laden is dead, which means the No. 1 threat to America is now the KFC Double Down.
President Obama gave the order for Navy SEALs to kill bin Laden. When President Bush heard about it, he was really upset, saying, “I could have used seals?”
Bin Laden was living in a house with no Internet access, which explains why there were all those bin Laden sightings at the Islamabad Kinko’s.
The news of bin Laden’s death interrupted this week’s episode of “Celebrity Apprentice.” Which begs the question, how do we kill bin Laden again next Sunday?
Late Show With David Letterman
Did everyone enjoy the Osama bin Laden season finale?
We finally killed bin Laden. That didn’t take too long.
There’s already been some trouble for Osama bin Laden in the afterlife. There was a mix up and he was greeted by 72 vegans.
The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
Osama bin Laden was killed by U.S. forces. Everyone on TV has been really happy. Glenn Beck was crying — and then he found out about Osama.
Apparently, members of al-Qaida are online slamming the U.S. I don’t understand why they’re so upset. Everyone in al-Qaida just got a promotion.
President Obama must be very happy because he finally took down his arch enemy: Donald Trump. The bin Laden announcement interrupted “Celebrity Apprentice.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
I would like us to kill bin Laden every Sunday night. It makes for a much brighter start to the week.
After all the talk about caves, bin Laden was hiding in a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan. The CIA became suspicious when they learned there was a million-dollar mansion in Pakistan.
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