The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.
"Jeffrey Alan!" she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?"
"My daddy said it," he responded.
"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained. "You don't know what it means."
"I do, too," Jeffrey corrected. "It means the car won't start."
__._,_.___
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.
She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama.
Then she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
Little Johnny thought for a second, raised his hand, then said,
"I'd probably puke my fucking guts out."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I was walking in the park one bright sunny Sunday afternoon, when I noticed a cute little girl out walking her dog. As she approached me on the path, she looked about 9 years old, all dressed up in her Sunday best, and her freshly scrubbed face, just gleaming with cutesiness. Tugging on her leash was a well groomed, but somewhat chubby, terrier.
As we met on the path, I greeted her, "Hi there, my, aren't you pretty today and what a fine looking dog you have."
"Thank you, sir" she said, "And what a nice day this is isn't it?"
"Yes it is" I answered, "My, what a polite little girl you are, and what a pretty dress you're wearing."
"Oh, thank you, sir. My mother taught me to always be polite and she made this dress for me, isn't it pretty?" she said with a beaming smile.
"Yes, very pretty" I answered, "By the way, what's your dog's name?"
"Oh, sir, my dog's name is 'Porky', isn't that cute?"
"Well, it certainly is an unusual name for a dog. Why do you call him 'Porky', because he's a little fat?"
"Oh, no!" she replied with a smile, "It's because he fucks pigs!"
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