[Fox Mulder]

(Captions will read left to right. Top to bottom. Honestly!)

1. Designed to blast up skirts, the 10,000 tiny air jets hidden in Pervert Pete's carpet worked just a little too well.
2. Basketball fans... this is the lesbian equivalent of an "air ball." She went for the clit lick- and got nothin' but air.
3. Leeanne set up a motion detector camera after losing jewelry. As she suspected, it was Pearl Pilfering Pam!
4. Dave had been ogling Betty's tits all night. She decided to pull one out and smother him with it.
5. "OK...I'm going to pass out some pens. The one who writes the best essay on why you want to fuck me, wins!"
6. Was cheating on her hypnotist lover ill advised? Whenever she hears water running, Lisa now becomes a mad cat.
7. Tired of her head bashing against the headboard when her boyfriend doggy fucked her- Terri brought "protection."
8. "Whaaa...who turned out the lights" Help! Gaaaagh!" (God, Felicia was dumb.)
9. When Steve got mad and shouted: "Fellatio isn't funny!" that just made Maxine laugh even harder.