[Fox Mulder]

(You still read them left to right. Top to bottom.)
1.How every morning of your life would begin if you were Hugh Hefner.
2.Joe knew that Darla didn't really get bit by a rattlesnake, but Melanie was pretty gullible.
3.This is "Facial Awareness Month." You can help by wearing a white ribbon on your nose- just like this one!
4.You think this is a joke? Suck on one of these babies and your lips will melt right off! (Nuclear Nipples)
5.Too many drinks at the office party made Julie forget that it was laundry day.
6.Martha used to be shy when meeting new people, but she's loosened up some.
7.You've read the advertising...now it's time to see for yourself!
8.If women were raised by dogs, how might they greet one another?
9.You know you're a Redneck when: You pass up "Victoria's Secret" and shop for your lingerie at "Ace hardware."
10. Don't try this at home! Drinking and masturbating accounted for 1,987 drowning deaths last year alone!