On our 25th anniversary, my husband took me out to dinner. Our teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for us when we returned. After we got home, we saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"
"I suppose," my husband responded, "we could vacuum."
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Miss, would you help me?" a customer at a department store asked a female clerk. "I would like to purchase a birthday gift for my brother. What do you suggest for a man who has everything?"
The clerk offered, "My phone number?"
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My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
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