[Fox Mulder]

(As usual, read left to right, top to bottom...or else.)
1. It's been proven: When firefighters dress like this, arson statistics in their fire district will rise.
2. Seconds later, someone blew up a paper bag and popped it, and Amber's modeling career was over.
3. It's called "Public displays of Affection" (PDF) and it's upsetting sexually repressed people everywhere!
4. All the kids wanted to pose for a picture with Lenny's corpse.
5. Line dancing in my neighborhood is just a little different.
6. The call girl from the Yeti Escort Service has arrived.
7. "Cindy, you are getting sleeeepy...Now, when we snap our fingers you will awake and go down on both of us."
8. If Janet didn't hold them back, her breasts would eventually destroy the entire world.