[r2mis]

There was one strip club that I visited about once every 3 months for a little while. It was a full nude strip club, with a raised rectangular stage in the middle, high enough so that if you sat in one of the chairs around it, you would rest your arms on the top of it. Of all the bizarre things, there was a smorgasbord off to the side. There's something incredibly decadent about chowing down while a girl on stage is gyrating pink in your direction...but anyway...

I was seated at the center area when the enthusiastic announcer announced that the following dancer was "Miss Bondage USA!" She came out, danced (for the record, nothing about her dance was "bondage") and left the stage. She later came out to tour the small crowd checking to see if anyone wanted a more "private" show.

Well, although I like the idea of talking to strippers, I find it pretty hard to do. What exactly do you *say* to a stripper? "Gee, your tits are swell", while it may be true, and both of you know that this is basically what you're thinking, really comes across as kind of stale in that atmosphere. Like, you know, she's might've heard that before. About 10,000 times. Usually, I can get women to talk by steering the conversation to...themselves. But Strippers are a problem, there, because a lot of them don't want to talk about themselves. Firstly, they may be worried that you're a stalker-guy, trying to find out enough about their personal life to track them down, and secondly, a lot of strippers who aren't perfectly comfortable with what they're doing build a sort of mental wall...this publicly naked woman is one persona, and real-life is another persona, and they aren't supposed to mix. And me talking about myself feels lame. So most of the time, I don't bother trying, even though it's also obvious that, a lot of the time, they're really bored and would welcome a real conversation.

However, this time was different. She was Miss Bondage USA, and I was genuinely curious about how one *becomes* Miss Bondage USA, and what one has to know to do it. ( Turns out that it requires a pretty intricate knowledge of knots and naughtiness...who'd a thunk? ;-) ) So she and I had a real conversation.

A couple of months later, a friend of mine was getting married, and it turned out that he had never been to a strip club...so I took him. This dancer comes out, does her dance numbers, and makes the rounds to pick up her tips. This woman was *very* comfortable with what she was doing, so she didn't bother to dress as she came around, and as she picked up the tips, she squatted down, knees wide apart for one last shot as she thanked each patron for the tips.

As she squatted in that position, as she looked up from the money she was picking up into my eyes to thank me, as the announcer announced "Let's give it up one more time for MISS BONDAGE USA!", she suddenly recognized me and with non-professional pleasure, she put her hand on my arm (a gesture that was somehow much more intimate than sticking this or that in my face), and said "Oh, HI! It's great to see you again! Let's chat later!" and she stood up and left.

I turned to say something to my friend, only to find his jaw on the ground, eyes bugged out all googly. :-) I just smiled at him, shrugged, and turned back to my drink, knowing that by the next day, I'd have a reputation among a certain group of shared friends that I couldn't've bought with a million dollars. :-)