[osreb]

~ Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is like a box of chocolates.

~ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

~ My idea of housework is to sweep a room with a glance.

~ Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

~ Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

~ If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

~ For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

~ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

~ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

~ A conscience is the part of you that hurts when all your body parts feel good.

~ Eat well, stay fit, die thin.

~ Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

~ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

~ By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

~ Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.