Gems
~ Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is like a box of chocolates.
~ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
~ My idea of housework is to sweep a room with a glance.
~ Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
~ Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
~ If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
~ For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
~ If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
~ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
~ A conscience is the part of you that hurts when all your body parts feel good.
~ Eat well, stay fit, die thin.
~ Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
~ A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
~ By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
~ Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
~ Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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