[osreb]

The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists

A university graduate and an old aboriginal.
They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '

First to recite his poem was the university graduate.

He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination Timbuktu ..

The audience went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.

The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;

Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three wh*r*s in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two

So I bucked one, and timbuktu .

The aboriginal won.
************************************************** ******

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, "I want to open
a fuckin' checking account.”
The astonished woman replies, I beg your pardon, sir. I must have
misunderstood you. What did you say?" Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a
fuckin' checking account now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank."
The teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to inform
him of her situation. The manager agrees that the teller does not have to
listen to that foul language.
They both return to the window and the manager asks the old geezer, "Sir,
what seems to be the problem here?"
"There is no fuckin problem," the man says. I just won $200 million bucks
in the damn lottery and I want to put my fuckin money in this damn bank."

"Oh...I see," says the manager, "and is this b*tch giving you a hard time sir???"