25 reasons I owe my mother
1. *_My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _*.
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION _*.
'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.'
3. *_My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL _*.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. *_My mother taught me LOGIC _*.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. *_My mother taught me MORE LOGIC _*.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. *_My mother taught me FORESIGHT _*. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. *_My mother taught me IRONY
*'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. *_My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS _*.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. *_My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM _*..
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. *_My mother taught me about STAMINA _*. 'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. *_My mother taught me about WEATHER _*. 'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. *_My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY _*.
'If I told you once,I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. *_My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE _*.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. *_My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION _*.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. *_My mother taught me about ENVY _*. 'There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION _*. 'Just wait until we get home.'
17... *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING _*. 'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. *_My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE _*.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. *_My mother taught me ESP _*.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. *_My mother taught me HUMOR _*.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. *_My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT _*.
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up...'
22. *_My mother taught me GENETICS. _*'You're just like your father.'
23. *_My mother taught me about my ROOTS _*.
'Shut that door behind you.. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. *_My mother taught me WISDOM _*.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: *_My mother taught me about JUSTICE
*'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
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