[osreb]

Being Jewish...
Q: What is a Jewish ménage-a-trois
A: Two headaches and an erection.

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?
A: He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't
have to hear about the way his mother cooked

Q: What business is a yenta in?
A: Yours.

Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?
A: They put them in the car.

Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?
A: Plaintiff

Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft
and her nails long?
A: Nothing at all

Q: Define "genius"
A: An average student with a Jewish mother

Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
A: A fur coat

Q: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife's breast?
A: The tip of the iceberg

Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a
Jewish woman?
A: A Mercedes 550SL convertible

Jewish proverb: "A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but
she'll never forget what she forgave."

One of life's mysteries - how a 2 Ib. box of chocolates can
make a Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.

Another of life's mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs
something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all
excited about nothing; then they marry him.

A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes
to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team
than he is to play for one.