[osreb]

Nerd Resolutions
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T
BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD

16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.

14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"

13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.

11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.

10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.

9. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.

8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.

7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

6. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.

5. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*

4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...

3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.

2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.

1. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

AND...

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some resolutions that you can actually accomplish! Enjoy! :-)

10. Read less.

9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.

8. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

7. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

6. Procrastinate more.

5. Drink. Drink some more.

4. Start being superstitious.

3. Spend more time at work.

2. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

and last but not least...

1. Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!