[osreb]

At the regular Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was
planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave
because he is so popular. Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in
Newton and Brookline , stands up and proclaims "If the rabbi stays, I will
provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van
to transport their children!"

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, "If the
rabbi will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a
foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!"

More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the rabbi
stays, I will give him sex!" There is total silence. The rabbi, blushing asks
her: "Mrs. Rubin, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you
to say that?"

Estelle's 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his
forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side,
while his wife replies: "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and
he said, "Fuck him."