[osreb]

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes
in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably
won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway .. you're going to be
okay, you'll walk again and everything, but...something happened.. I'm trying
to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck
and we were unable to find it.'

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'you've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy
that will work as well as your old one did-better in fact! But the thing is,
it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch.'

The man perks up at this. "So, 'the doctor says, 'it's up to you to decide
how many inches you want. But, it's something you'd better discuss with your
wife. I mean , if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a
nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one
before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher, this time, she might
be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make
the decision.'

The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.
"So," says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'

' I have,' says the man.

'And has she helped you in making the decision?'

'Yes, she has' says the man.

'And what is it?' asks the doctor.

'We're getting granite countertops.'