[osreb]

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a
while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate,
"I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Aaarrgghhh, we were in a battle and I got hit with a musket ball in tha knee and the doc amputed me leg and now
I have to wear this peg leg; but I'm fine now."
"Well, ok, but what about that hook? "What happened to your hand?" "Arrggghhh, We were in a Hurricane and I was washed overboard, and before they could get me back on da ship a shark bit me arm off and now I have this hook for me hand. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Aaarrrgghh, one day we were at sea and I was on watch inb the crow's nest when a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in me eye and now I be blind in that eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird shit."
"Aaaarrrggghhh, It will if you try and get it out with this here hook."