Grandma got molested by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
Some people say there's no Santa,
But Grandma has small choice but to believe.
She'd been drinking too much eggnog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd forgot her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
Grandma got molested by a reindeer,
Walking' home with eggnog on her breath.
Be cautious in your holiday celebrations
Or else you court a Yuletide worse than death.
Those tiny hooves were gouging into her thighs,
As Grandma struggled gamely to get loose.
At least until she got her Christmas surprise:
That little reindeer was hung like a moose.
Grandma got molested by a reindeer,
She shudders yet when she hears sleighbells ring.
An interfaith celebration can be charming,
But interspecies is another thing.
Now Grandpa's sittin' up on the roof with a shotgun
And Grandma's peepin' coyly through the blinds
It's nice to see the old folks share an, interest
They both of them have got venison on their minds.
Grandma got molested by a reindeer,
Walking' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But Grandma has small choice but to believe.
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