OK, I'll give it a try
1. I think the trunks I bought you are a size too large. EEK! Whats that??
2. I can bring home the laundry, iron it all in a flash, and never let you forget you're a man.....
3. Rumor has it Bill O'Reilly now wants to change networks.
4. She got stuck in a four girl butt hole
5. Her drink is in grave danger of being given a vicious kung fu kick
6. A rare look at the secretive tree sl*t, or
arborivitae sl*tus. EDIT: censored but you know the word
It is not "sloth". Replace the "o" with a "u" and get rid of the "h"
7. Woman leaves lecture on the Koran after learning the punishment for baring her knees. Think anyone noticed them?
8. No fair moving closer. Licking the chart is not permitted. Guaranteed to cause a bad case of eye strain.